Use of 'then'

Question

In this small paragraph, have I used then too often? I'm not sure...

Thanks in advance!

Hamish then grabbed her hand, and they followed their father. To their astonishment, when they entered the sitting room, the furniture came to life and began to attack him. Their eyes then fell upon Billy, who wasn’t unconscious, and he pointed his cane at the tartan walls as he uttered a spell under his breath. The strands of liquorish then came to life, and, like snakes, began to wrap themselves around their father.

Philip · Accepted Answer

It sounds fine to me. A good substitute for then is often next, but that would normally come closer to the beginning of the sentence.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

If you are uncomfortable with it, just use a different expression to show a sequence of actions:

Hamish then grabbed her hand, and they followed their father. To their astonishment, when they entered the sitting room, the furniture came to life and began to attack him. Their eyes naturally turned to ~~then fell upon~~ Billy, who wasn’t unconscious, and he pointed his cane at the tartan walls as he uttered a spell under his breath. The incantation caused the strands of liquorish (licorice?) ~~then came~~ to come to life, and, like snakes, they began to wrap themselves around their father.

Clive · Answer

You don't really need any of these uses of 'then'.
The reader will easily understand that one thing happens after another.

Use of 'then'

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