Use of "that" in a sentence

Question

Can you please tell me if this sentence should have the word that in it and what are the rules in using "that".  Thank you.We are so very proud of you and all that you have become.

Tinyteflteacher · Accepted Answer

We can use 'that' instead of 'who' or 'which' in a defining relative clause.
(1) The man who/that I love has gone away.
(2) The man who/that loves me has gone away.

The word who/that here is unnecessary in (1) because the next verb

has a subject (I).
But in (2) the word who/that is necessary because the verb 'love' has no other subject before it.

Now, I'm not 100% sure, but I thinK the example you gave could be rewritten as:
"We are so very proud of you and everything which you have become."
It would be clumsy like this, but possible. In which case, as a defining relative clause, you don't need which/that because the verb (have become) has a subject (you).

Markroe · Answer

The question doesn't seem to be whether to use "who" or "that." I think, rather, the question is whether "that" is necessary in the sentence. There are very few strict rules concerning the word "that." In your sentence it it unnecessary, although it's not wrong. If the meaning of the sentence is confusing or unclear without it, then it's better to put it in.

Comments on tinyteflteacher's answers:

1) I think that when there is reference to a person, it should always be "who" or "whom." "That" is used for an object.

2) it is incorrect to use "who" instead of "whom" the first sentence.

Tinyteflteacher · Answer

But do you think people really use 'whom' anymore?  I don't know of any English people who do nowadays, apart from my grandmother!   I've never seen 'whom' mentioned in any modern coursebook, from elementary to proficiency.

Markroe · Answer

Most grammar books and grammar web sites still suggest using "whom." Many of my friends are teachers, and they still use it as well. It is true that more and more speakers and writers are not using it, but does that make it correct?

Use of "that" in a sentence

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