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Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Grammar
URGENT!!!Please check my statement of motivation
URGENT!!!Tell me if the motivation letter is good. I need it for application as a future Erasmus student. Correct mistakes please and let me know, what's wrong generally. Thank for your helb
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a student of International Relations at the Warsaw University and I am writing to you to express my great interest in studying within the Erasmus programme in International School for Humanities and Social Sciences at your university.
Since I was in High School, I have been always interested in politics especially in its international version and I have always thought, being a politician or a diplomat is one of the best ways of serving the country. Therefore I decided to study to be a diplomat and my aim is to work in one of the polish embassies in the south-east Asia, which region I find very interesting due to its unique culture and the way the countries of the region have developed.
As a student of International Relations I have a great opportunity to be taught by the best polish specialists in the field. My so far gained knowledge in wide range of disciplines like politics, economy, ethnology, sociology etc. enables me to watch the world in its whole complexity and encourages me all the time to broaden my knowledge. Therefore I took up the study at the second university - Warsaw School of Economics, where I major in International Economy. I think that in the globalized world, where politics is inseparably connected with economy it is impossible to be a good diplomat without solid understanding, supported by a strong academic foundation in the both aspects of International Relations, what we can see best now - in the time of crisis and continuous struggle for natural resources. Therefore studying at the both faculties is my way of preparation to make an effort to meet the problems of the contemporary world.
Besides studying, I am active in a student organization CEMS Club Warsaw, where through working on some projects I enrich my practical skills connected with some political and economical issues. Since CEMS Club Warsaw is a local, polish department of the worldwide exchange student programme CEMS, I am going to benefit from it taking part in such an exchange with one of the universities of south-east Asia.
But that all would be - in my opinion - insufficient without taking part in an student exchange at the University of Amsterdam. It is for me not only a great opportunity to study at one of the best European universities, to get to know a new culture, make new friend. It will be also an important experience for me to learn a new approach to politics in your country, to find out, what is actually the attitude of the society to politicians, to elections, how looks the political culture like in Netherlands. It is a chance to play a role of a diplomat, as well, explaining the details of living in Poland, of polish political culture and also promote Poland among fellow students. And being able to choose from such a wide range of various subjects you offer, I can be sure that the study at your university will be very interesting.
Yours faithfully
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a student of International Relations at the Warsaw University and I am writing to you to express my great interest in studying within the Erasmus programme in International School for Humanities and Social Sciences at your university.
Since I was in High School, I have been always interested in politics especially in its international version and I have always thought, being a politician or a diplomat is one of the best ways of serving the country. Therefore I decided to study to be a diplomat and my aim is to work in one of the polish embassies in the south-east Asia, which region I find very interesting due to its unique culture and the way the countries of the region have developed.
As a student of International Relations I have a great opportunity to be taught by the best polish specialists in the field. My so far gained knowledge in wide range of disciplines like politics, economy, ethnology, sociology etc. enables me to watch the world in its whole complexity and encourages me all the time to broaden my knowledge. Therefore I took up the study at the second university - Warsaw School of Economics, where I major in International Economy. I think that in the globalized world, where politics is inseparably connected with economy it is impossible to be a good diplomat without solid understanding, supported by a strong academic foundation in the both aspects of International Relations, what we can see best now - in the time of crisis and continuous struggle for natural resources. Therefore studying at the both faculties is my way of preparation to make an effort to meet the problems of the contemporary world.
Besides studying, I am active in a student organization CEMS Club Warsaw, where through working on some projects I enrich my practical skills connected with some political and economical issues. Since CEMS Club Warsaw is a local, polish department of the worldwide exchange student programme CEMS, I am going to benefit from it taking part in such an exchange with one of the universities of south-east Asia.
But that all would be - in my opinion - insufficient without taking part in an student exchange at the University of Amsterdam. It is for me not only a great opportunity to study at one of the best European universities, to get to know a new culture, make new friend. It will be also an important experience for me to learn a new approach to politics in your country, to find out, what is actually the attitude of the society to politicians, to elections, how looks the political culture like in Netherlands. It is a chance to play a role of a diplomat, as well, explaining the details of living in Poland, of polish political culture and also promote Poland among fellow students. And being able to choose from such a wide range of various subjects you offer, I can be sure that the study at your university will be very interesting.
Yours faithfully
Top answer
Anon: You tend to write very complex sentences that contain many different ideas. It is more powerful to express yourself in shorter single-purpose sentences with well-chosen words. I have made some suggestions for your consideration.
- Anon: You tend to write very complex sentences that contain many different ideas.
- It is more powerful to express yourself in shorter single-purpose sentences with well-chosen words.
- I have made some suggestions for your consideration.
- Anonymous Dear Sir or Madam, I am a student of International Relations at the Warsaw University and I am writing to you to express my great interest in studying within the Erasmus programme in International School for Humanities and Social Sciences at your university .
- (surely this is redundant) Since I was in High School, I have been always been interested in politics , especially in its international politics, version and I have always thought that being a politician or a (the phrase is OK, but repetitious) diplomat is one of the best ways of serving one's the country.
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2 Answers
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Anon:
You tend to write very complex sentences that contain many different ideas. It is more powerful to express yourself in shorter single-purpose sentences with well-chosen words. I have made some suggestions for your consideration.
You tend to write very complex sentences that contain many different ideas. It is more powerful to express yourself in shorter single-purpose sentences with well-chosen words. I have made some suggestions for your consideration.
AnonymousDear Sir or Madam,
I am a student of International Relations at the Warsaw University and I am writing to you to expre
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