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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Letter Writing

URGENT!!! Would someone check my cover letter for me, please?





Nov 25th, 2007



Dear Ms. A,



I was informed by your advertisement on OOO that CCC is now hiring secretary/administration officer position; therefore I would like to show my interested in its by sending my Curriculum Vitae along with this application letter.



As this moment, I am a new graduate student of AAA from MMM (VVVi University Campus) and my subject is Business Management with Financial Major. During the period of time, I always have qualified high marks in most of the subjects taken.



Last year I had one-month internship with BBB working in Sales Department. I did learnt some skills which I think it will help me do well in the position above such as translating, communicating and do some short financial report. Moreover, I am not only having ability to prepare a short oral presentation but also do well on computer software.



Since XYZ is a new company, focus on new type of activities (fixed income market) which has potential chance to develop in the future, I saw myself as a candidate who would be so glad to have a chance to be in the staff at XYZ.



I do believe that the chances are equal for all and the purpose of this announcement is finding right people to put in the right place; therefore, I am looking forward to receive your email.



Yours sincerely,



Nguyen, Thu Hien
  

Top answer

I tried to improve your letter as best as I could. Some sentences I changed completely, some I left the same. If no one else responds to this post, hopefully this will help you.

  • I tried to improve your letter as best as I could.
  • Some sentences I changed completely, some I left the same.
  • If no one else responds to this post, hopefully this will help you.
  • Note: I wasn't sure if you meant major or minor in Finance, so you might want to double check that.
  • Major is primary, minor is secondary.
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1 Answers
0
I tried to improve your letter as best as I could. Some sentences I changed completely, some I left the same. If no one else responds to this post, hopefully this will help you. Note: I wasn't sure if you meant major or minor in Finance, so you might want to double check that. Major is primary, minor is secondary.

Good luck!
- Mike

Dear Ms. A,

I was informed by

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