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Cheese1987 Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

urgent please help me to correct this article.

0any content and grammar wrong? please help me to correct it. thank you very much02br
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00I am cindy. I am currently a year 1 student in the Management and Marketing Department of Chinese University. i would like to introduce my academic acheievement first.02br
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00As you can see at the form that, i have gained 3 distinctions and a Credit in Hong Kong Advanced Level Examination. In fact , i was only an indifferent students before. You can see my result of HKCEE is not very good. to get this great improvement, i deeply believe diligence is important. everything can be done as long as you work hard.02br
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00 As for the aspect of extra - curricular activity, i have joined chinese orchestra since i was form 1. i have played Liuqin for 7 years. do you know what liuqin is? it is a chinese instrument. now i participate in polytechnic university 's chinese orchestra and north district chinese orchestra. Since i am the member of chinese , i have an opportunity to act some performances. i have justed acted on December, also, i have a chance to give a performance 2 weeks later, and in the coming months.02br
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00 Because i am interested in music, i have paid much effort on it. Therefore, I luckily awarded the second place and the third place in liuqin competition in HK Schools Music Festival when i was f.2 and f.4. Apart from my music achievement, I have joined the PTU Choral Speaking Competition, luckily again i was award first place in HK Schools Speech Festival when i was f.602br
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00 i have also contributed to my secondary school when i was a college student. i was a school librarian and the captain of the school chinese orchestra. in addition to school services, i also participate in the flag - selling activity and walkathon of the Tung Wah Group of Hospital since i was f.4. as i am a member of community youth club, i have a chance to do some social services such as visiting the elderly, helping the disabled person. i believe those services are meaningful. not only can the people to be helped but also i can understand i am so happiness.02br
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00 Although i have some achievement in those parts, i think i am not a all- rounded person as i am not good at english. it is my main weakness. So i hopfully i can study oversea. By studing in other countries, i believe my listening and my oral skill can be greatly improved. but i have a misgiving that my family cannot afford this tuition fee and the cost of living. so i hopfully hk jockey club can give me a hand and help me to achieve this goal.0-
  

Top answer

0I suggest you capitalize all your i's, the first word of every sentence, and the proper nouns, and we'll go from there. 02br 02br 00Hope this helps. :-) 0-

  • 0I suggest you capitalize all your i's, the first word of every sentence, and the proper nouns, and we'll go from there.
  • 02br 02br 00Hope this helps.
  • :-) 0-
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7 Answers
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0I suggest you capitalize all your i's, the first word of every sentence, and the proper nouns, and we'll go from there. 02br
02br
00Is this a JUPAS transfer?02br
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00Hope this helps. :-) 0-
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0 In fact, it is a draft of speech. In addition to the capitalization, what anything wrong abount the content and grammar? thanks~! 0-
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0 It will be easier to correct if you repost with the capitals, as suggested0-
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0I am Cindy. I am currently a year 1 student in the Management and Marketing Department of Chinese University. i would like to introduce my academic acheievement first.02br
02br
00As you can see at the form that, i have gained 3 distinctions and a Credit in Hong Kong Advanced Level Examination. In fact , i was only an indifferent students before. You can see my result of HKCE
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0Only the glaring mistakes. I've highlighted or bolded them. Please fix them and repost your speech.01blockquote
01cite10Cheese198712cite10I am Cindy. I am currently a year 1 student in the Management and Marketing Department of 11b10Chinese University (full name)12b10.11b10 i12b10 would like to 11b
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0 01blockquote
01cite10Julielai12cite12br
10Only the glaring mistakes. I've highlighted or bolded them. Please fix them and repost your speech.11blockquote
11cite20Cheese198722cite20I am Cindy. I am currently a year 1 student in the Management and Marketing Department of 21b20Chinese Univer
0
0Only the glaring mistakes. I've highlighted or bolded them. Please fix them and repost your speech.01blockquote
01cite10Cheese198712cite10I am Cindy. I am currently a year 1 student in the Management and Marketing Department of 11b10Chinese University (full name of the university10)12b10.11b10 i12b10 w

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