Please help me for my essay writing. I am not native speaker in English. I completed master degree in Genetics. I am in process of application for a PhD position. I found this web page very late. I look forward your replies quickly. Thank you for your concern
1. Please give your reasons for wishing to do a doctoral thesis in the field you have chosen and explain your longer-term professional goals. Prepare your statement of objectives in whatever form clearly presents your views. The Admission Committee will welcome any factors you wish to bring to its attention concerning your academic and work experience to date, as well as your objectives. (Keep a copy for your file. You may also wish to provide copies to your referees before they complete their forms.)(1 page max.)
I found that an international PhD position at University of XXX corresponds well with my future plans in seeking a career in the academic world, as a geneticist. I believe that dissertation of PhD is one of the important milestones in the career of a young scientist. Consequently, I want to do my doctorate thesis with conscious guide in a scientific environment.
Today, a number of people aim to study science. I am one of those who not only aim to achieve scientific professional understanding but also to use science as a tool for conveying the knowledge of science to humanity. This tool will surely help me to contribute a number of things to people and their lives. No education is complete without experience. Armed with a solid understanding of academic principles, I can continue my career where I will add to my experience. Because I will be well versed in the theory, I will be able to adapt and modify the theoretical constructs as required in order to meet practical researches.
It is my life ambition to do scientific research because I believe that scientific research and its methods provide an unrivalled framework in which the problems of the physical world can be determined and solutions to them be found. Solutions from “the laboratories” do not always translate into the real world completely, but scientific researches contribute a lot of things which have gone to achieve right solutions and then they are implementation. Pursuing the methods and seeing problems as important as acquiring positive conclusions. In addition, discovering the implied meanings behind the scientific knowledges give me pleasure and encourage me to think and research the subject matter.
I am not one of those who constantly study on a subject alone. Moreover, I am team spirited, effective communication, leadership skills, organizing and so on. In many team works or groups, I could lead the team well, and fight for the goal. Friends under different cultural backgrounds from various countries in international programme can be in my favor. I try to live a sociable life with my friends as well. Conducting such a graduate study, I firstly aim to contribute something to myself and then share it with people around. I like people who do not discriminate others according to race, nationality, sex, or religion. Therefore, I will try to support people who do not know absolutely how to solve their health problems through my studies in genetics. My future goals include establishing a career in research and educating people about science. As far as I know, scientific research has its origins in a very fundamental human character namely curiosity. I believe that curiosity creates questions in a scientist’s mind thus researches start. My curiosity and strong desire encourage me to be a scientist. It is very important, though, to ask the right question. During my four-year study at the university and then master degree, I found the answer to this question in the studies I conducted at the Molecular Biology Department at XXX University, Pediatric Molecular Genetic Department at the XXX University School of Medicine and I would like to be one of those who work incessantly to find out the answers. In my future career when I find questions and related right answers, I think I will have a great opportunity to continue my studies. Therefore, I am applying for your Doctoral Programme in Genetics starting February XX, 2006.
As a committed, thoughtful and hard-working person with my personality, practical and theoretical background, I believe that I am a good candidate for the PhD Program in the field of Genetics.
Top answer
Hi Whiteleaf, Your essay does not say much about what you have done during your Masters. In fact it almost says nothing about the academic work you did in the past. You only talk about how science will benefit from you and how pleased you are but you need to prove it by mentioning about some research you did with a professor, or some journal you wrote, something to actually prove your academic past.
— Savvysavz
Hi Whiteleaf, Your essay does not say much about what you have done during your Masters.
In fact it almost says nothing about the academic work you did in the past.
You only talk about how science will benefit from you and how pleased you are but you need to prove it by mentioning about some research you did with a professor, or some journal you wrote, something to actually prove your academic past.
The lines below clearly mention that: The Admission Committee will welcome any factors you wish to bring to its attention concerning your academic and work experience to date Do you still have time to re-write your essay?
I or someone else will have no problem correcting this version for you but I'm saying this only for your benefit.
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Your essay does not say much about what you have done during your Masters. In fact it almost says nothing about the academic work you did in the past. You only talk about how science will benefit from you and how pleased you are but you need to prove it by mentioning about some research you did with a professor, or some journal you wrote, something to actually prove your aca
Thank u very much for your quick reply. When I read your comment, I thought your opinion. That is true. You are absolutely right. I changed first paragraph and added master subject. But I wait to reply journal which I wrote with my professor.
I still have time to re-write my essay. Thanks in advance.
I have some time. Because I wait diploma of my high school which is wanted by uni for application. When I receive diploma from my parents in abroad, I complete then apply uni for PhD position.
I changed your correction. Please, check it. I will be very glad.
I changed sntences which u correct. Please check it for me. I add some sentences in orange colour. And I want to write green sentences. If u modify this sentences and do correction,comments, I am very glad. I want to some help u for another writing. Could u help me for this?
I changed sntences which u correct. Please check it for me. I add some sentences in orange colour. And I want to write green sentences. If u modify this sentences and do correction,comments, I am very glad. I want to some help u for another writing. Could u help me for this?
Your essay looks much better now but there are still some corrections/alterations to be made. Since you wish to keep the sentence in green, I will just modify it a little. Give me a while to correct your essay,I will post it back as soon as possible.
The two additions you made are very benefical for you but I shifted them in different paragraphs so as to have a proper flow of events. Please check the whole essay and let me know if you need more help. Your essay looks good now though I still have some questions in red. I hope all this fits in one page?
Your thesis made some interesting reading for me.Thanx
I am very happy cos of finding helpful person. I mean UUUU!!! most of the people think in a selfish manner. Anyway I am very pleased my thesis make some interestings for u. I changed last corrections.
I look forward to your next iteration. Thanks a lot.