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Johnny_Cash Posted 19 years ago
Letter Writing
[URGENT] GREAT BRITAIN: job application in London - cover letter
0 Hi, 02 br
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01 font 01 b 01 i 01 u 00 please 02 u 02 i 02 b 02 font 00 read through my cover letter. It would really really help me a lot :-). 02 br
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00 I need help: 02 br
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00 1) with possible grammar errors etc. 02 br
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00 2) if you think the structure of the cover letter as a whole (or partly) is crap, please tell me!! 02 br
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00 It has to be very very good and flawless!! 02 br
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01 font 01 u 01 b 00 A LOT DEPENDS ON IT !!! 02 b 02 u 02 font 02 br
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00 Thank you very much in advance! 02 br
02 br
00 Greets 02 br
00 J_C 01 h2
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00 c/o ZZZZ MMMMMMM, Brandtstrasse 4a, App. 32 02 br
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00 88888 Berlin, Germany 02 br
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00 Phone: +49 (0)-- -------- 02 br
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00 Mobile: +49 (0)--- -------- 02 br
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01 a 00 Email Removed 00 "> 01 span 00 Email Removed 02 span 02 a 02 br
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00 28 February 2007 02 br
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00 Johnny’s Bank & Co. 02 br
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00 Human Resources Department 02 br
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00 Dear Sir or Madam: 02 br
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00 This letter is to express my interest in the ZZZZ/YYYY position within your GGGG/HHHH Team listed on 05 0 00 (Recruiter Ref: YYYYYY). I earned an economics master’s degree in September 2006 graduating within the top 10 of my class from the YYYYYYYY University Berlin which last year won the title 'Elite University' in a German-wide excellence initiative and whose department of economics is ranked 5 01 sup 00 th 02 sup 00 in Europe and 2 01 sup 00 nd 02 sup 00 in Germany. 02 br
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00 The ad said you seek someone who is passionate about the fixed income market and is able to work independently to produce accurate, detailed materials while meeting tight deadlines. Analyzing the events that influence the world economy as well as the fixed income market is my passion. Due to my stock market activities, mainly on the French small- and mid-cap market and by using primarily fundamental analysis combining it with technical analysis, I was able to finance my entire studies. In 2005 as well as in 2006 I generated an after-tax return of about 60% per year. 02 br
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00 During my studies I gained placement experience in several well-known companies where I often did accurate and self-reliant research and analysis work and prepared exact decision memos. My academic focus on empirical economic research and on transition economics helped me a lot in developing strong analytical and quantitative skills by using the right tools. 02 br
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00 My work experience and extracurricular activities as a member of the stock market group of the University of Berlin are the best proof that I am quick to learn, a strong team player, and also able to work effectively alone. I am eager to learn more about the position at Johnny’s Bank & Co., and I look forward to meeting with you. My curriculum vitae is enclosed. 02 br
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00 Thank you for taking the time to review my application. 02 br
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00 Yours sincerely, 02 br
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00 Johnny Cash 01 h2
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01 font 01 b 01 i 01 u 00 please 02 u 02 i 02 b 02 font 00 read through my cover letter. It would really really help me a lot :-). 02 br
02 br
00 I need help: 02 br
02 br
00 1) with possible grammar errors etc. 02 br
02 br
00 2) if you think the structure of the cover letter as a whole (or partly) is crap, please tell me!! 02 br
02 br
00 It has to be very very good and flawless!! 02 br
02 br
01 font 01 u 01 b 00 A LOT DEPENDS ON IT !!! 02 b 02 u 02 font 02 br
02 br
00 Thank you very much in advance! 02 br
02 br
00 Greets 02 br
00 J_C 01 h2
02 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
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00 Johnny Cash 02 br02 br
00 c/o ZZZZ MMMMMMM, Brandtstrasse 4a, App. 32 02 br
02 br
00 88888 Berlin, Germany 02 br
02 br
00 Phone: +49 (0)-- -------- 02 br
02 br
00 Mobile: +49 (0)--- -------- 02 br
02 br
01 a 00 Email Removed 00 "> 01 span 00 Email Removed 02 span 02 a 02 br
02 br
00 28 February 2007 02 br
02 br
00 Johnny’s Bank & Co. 02 br
02 br
00 Human Resources Department 02 br
02 br
00 Dear Sir or Madam: 02 br
02 br
00 This letter is to express my interest in the ZZZZ/YYYY position within your GGGG/HHHH Team listed on 05 0 00 (Recruiter Ref: YYYYYY). I earned an economics master’s degree in September 2006 graduating within the top 10 of my class from the YYYYYYYY University Berlin which last year won the title 'Elite University' in a German-wide excellence initiative and whose department of economics is ranked 5 01 sup 00 th 02 sup 00 in Europe and 2 01 sup 00 nd 02 sup 00 in Germany. 02 br
02 br
00 The ad said you seek someone who is passionate about the fixed income market and is able to work independently to produce accurate, detailed materials while meeting tight deadlines. Analyzing the events that influence the world economy as well as the fixed income market is my passion. Due to my stock market activities, mainly on the French small- and mid-cap market and by using primarily fundamental analysis combining it with technical analysis, I was able to finance my entire studies. In 2005 as well as in 2006 I generated an after-tax return of about 60% per year. 02 br
02 br
00 During my studies I gained placement experience in several well-known companies where I often did accurate and self-reliant research and analysis work and prepared exact decision memos. My academic focus on empirical economic research and on transition economics helped me a lot in developing strong analytical and quantitative skills by using the right tools. 02 br
02 br
00 My work experience and extracurricular activities as a member of the stock market group of the University of Berlin are the best proof that I am quick to learn, a strong team player, and also able to work effectively alone. I am eager to learn more about the position at Johnny’s Bank & Co., and I look forward to meeting with you. My curriculum vitae is enclosed. 02 br
02 br
00 Thank you for taking the time to review my application. 02 br
02 br
00 Yours sincerely, 02 br
02 br
00 Johnny Cash 01 h2
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00 0250href http://www.YYYYYYYY.co.ukTop answer
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2 Answers
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0 corrections in bold and other areas you need to look at are highlighted for you. Watch out for the length of your sentences. You tend to run on and try to connect too many ideas and are not using enough commas. 02 br
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00 Dear Sir or Madam 01 b 00 (US uses colon, UK uses comma or nothing after salutation) 02 b 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 This lette
02 br
00 Dear Sir or Madam 01 b 00 (US uses colon, UK uses comma or nothing after salutation) 02 b 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 This lette
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