Urgent: Comments/Suggestions

Hi.

I have a text response under examination conditions coming soon. This is one of the three essay topics that we were given for selection.

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Essay Topic: “The epigraph to the novel states “He had fallen into darkness”. What does it mean to “fall into darkness” and who suffers this fate in “I’m Not Scared”?

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I would be very appreciative if someone could provide feedback on a rough draft i have produced in preparation for the text response. There are several problems with it:

- It is a bit lengthy (word limit is 600-800 words), i have created a piece of 900+ words.
- I need comments & feedback by tomorrow (sorry about the rushing)

I would be very pleased if someone could provide any comments concerning grammar, structure, vocabulary, relevancy etc. Any comments at all will be appreciated. I want to do well in this text response since it's the first task for english this year. Well, here it is:

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In the contemporary novel, “I’m Not Scared” the epigraph at the inception of the novel, predominantly refers to two contrasting individuals, Michele and Filippo – these two gradually descend into “darkness” on different levels. On a literal level, Filippo is “fallen into darkness” as he takes a physical step into incarceration in the hole. Conversely, on a symbolic level, Michele suffers a descent into the moral corruption of the cruel and unjust adult world. As he inevitably discovers Filippo, he is plunged into a world of moral degradation and whereby, those who he finds security and faith in are in fact, the very source of gradually destroying his childhood innocence and thrusting him in a world of moral “darkness”. These two, suffer both an adverse fate, but for Michele, through self-sacrifice, overcomes his fate and follows his moral instinct to do what is morally right and free himself and Filippo from this “darkness”, regardless of the adults’ authority.

Although the epigraph’s ambiguity, it evidently anticipates the victims who “had fallen into darkness”, and refers to both Michele and Filippo. For Michele, his interaction with Filippo is the precise pivot for his fall into “darkness”. In a sense, Michele’s fate is inevitable and he is propelled into a world of moral complications created by the adults of Acqua Traverse. Most dominantly his father’s incompetence strips away his childhood innocence and evidently, places Michele in an outset to moral “darkness”. As the epigraph suggests, Michele “ceased to know” his placement in the world of moral corruption and in addition, the understanding of his loss of innocence by his own corrupted father, “Papa was the bogeyman.” As he is aware of his father’s revelations, Michele cannot help but return to the helpless Filippo. Ultimately, by returning to Filippo, he paves a direction into moral “darkness” – that is, the fatal destruction of his moral innocence.

Michele’s perception of his father is easily influenced and manifested through his father’s disheartening instruction, “those people will shoot him in the head … and it’ll be your fault.” This method of burdening on Michele signifies a deeper descent into “darkness” for Michele. Having also sworn on the head of his father not to return to the hole, his moral obligations are skewed. In spite of the promise, Pino has ultimately destroyed the faith of his own son in which Michele must search within for imperative and moral direction. It is purely Michele’s innate moral nature that compels him to disregard the vows made to his father and endangers his life by rescuing Filippo. “That much he knew” also gives reference to the instinctive character of Michele, he acts on sole moral maturity, despite the consequences at hand. This pinpoints a subtle relief for Michele as he is, at first, unable to grasp the enormity of Filippo’s dilemma and the connections with the adults. In this case, he is able to shift away from moral “darkness” that fogs his understanding of reality and follow his inner moral instincts to search for Filippo.

Even though Michele’s father plays a major role in undermining his son’s childhood innocence by placing him in a morally stricken world whereby “darkness” is shrouding Michele’s crucial decisions, it also builds a strong bond between Michele and Filippo. Irrespective of their magnitude of suffering, both continue to share immense hardships along the journey. Michele, on one hand, tries to escape the adult world of moral corruption and seeks moral direction. On the other hand, Filippo yearns for freedom, yet is too accustomed to his entrapment, “In the dark I can see. In the dark I’m not blind”. The two, develop a striking bond despite Filippo cruel and inhumane conditions. This “darkness” in the epigraph is the very epitome of Filippo’s entrapment and it is only when in interaction with Michele, that he feels the sense of security or alleviation from his literal confining “darkness”. It is through battling both two instances of “darkness” – a world of moral corruption and isolation from freedom – that these two characters find refuge and comfort in each other.

The extensive imagination of Michele is an element, which he constantly employs to cope with the stranglehold of the adults’ world “darkness”. His aptitude of imagination serves him well as he is able to apply imaginative measures to cope with the morally based dilemmas he encounters. In the end, it is apparent that Michele implements an imaginative role-playing technique by imagining he is Tiger Jack, a comic hero, “What would Tiger Jack do in my place?” Through these struggles based on moral grounds, Michele frequently uses the power derived from imagination to cover up reality – which is more frightening than “monsters”. As the adults of the village become more and more morally bankrupt in which positions Michele into a deeper stage of his fate of “darkness”. However, the role of imagination for Michele is to conceal the fear that the adults have evoked but consequently, is a mechanism designed to survive the world of moral “darkness”.

Ultimately, Michele instinctively decides to break his oath to his father to save Filippo, which imminently endangers his life. As he is in the hole instructing Filippo to “run for it”, his father appears towering over the hole. He mistakably shoots Michele, believing it to be Filippo. Pino, though, is distraught and pleads for help at which the narrative concludes enigmatically. Above all, Michele’s enduring loyalty to Filippo is in direct association with the epigraph, “He had fallen into darkness”. Even under different circumstances, both the two characters share a series of hardships involving conflicts of different natures. By being propelled into the adult world of moral corruption, Michele is left to unavoidably fall into darkness. In contrast, Filippo’s fate regards his incarceration in the hole. It is only Michele’s willpower and moral maturity, that rescues Filippo from this fate and from ongoing exposure to “darkness”.

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I apologise about the word length. If you have the time, please help me out. I would be real thankful for it.

Akiyo.