University Letter of Motivation - Please Help!

Please take a few minutes to look over my letter of motivation for a dutch university. I appreciate any comments/advice, thanks so much!

Dear Madam/Sir,

My name is *****. I am a student of Dutch origin studying abroad in Caracas, Venezuela and I am currently in my last year of the International Baccalaureate diploma at the international school Escuela Campo Alegre. I am eager to study International Business as I intend to pursue a Business oriented career abroad. What I am seeking from my studies is a greater knowledge and understanding of the modern business world.

I am a very internationally-oriented individual. I was born in Washington D.C., and have continued to live in The Netherlands, England, Austria, Chile, and Venezuela. Needless to say, in my life I have been given the opportunity to learn many languages and cultures. As the son of a diplomat, I have learned to cope and appreciate living in many countries. I have never considered leaving a country as leaving my friends behind, but as an opportunity of making new friends and learning more about my surroundings. In terms of my interests, I have always been very passionate about languages. I have studied German, French, English, Dutch, and Spanish. I of course broaden my knowledge of these languages on a daily basis. In my past I was a very shy and quiet individual, however, now I can honestly say I have grown to develop my own voice and opinion and certainly the ability to stand firm on my own two feet.

I have two older siblings. My brother (23) also studied a Business program and earned a BA in Business and Finance at the University of Durham in England as well as my sister (24) who earned an MA in Economics at St. Andrews University, Scotland. I can clearly state that I have been surrounded by economists for quite some time, which surely has influenced my interests in business-oriented studies. Having lived in so many different countries all having different languages, different traditions and different morals, I can certainly say that I am very open-minded and aware of my surroundings. I am able to expand on my knowledge of these cultures every day. Ever since I can remember I have always been surrounded by International students and individuals. Because of this, I am very passionate about studying a program that is internationally oriented, allowing me to broaden my horizons to an even greater extent, which not only develops my state of awareness, but also my future career goals. I of course also have other interests than languages and business. I am very passionate about photography and design and have pursued these hobbies for many years. Due to these interests, I was able to aide in the establishment of Photography Club as well as gain the position of Vice President, which I might add is a true privilege. As the VP, I aide in creating ideas and themes such as Anger, Sadness, Happiness, Angst, and Willingness, these themes are then portrayed in my own and the club member’s pictures. I plan on bringing this creativity to my studies as well.

I am a very international and open-minded person. I am committed to excellence and perfection and I certainly intend to use my cultural, linguistic, and creative sides during my studies. I will continue to expand my economical and business oriented knowledge on a daily basis and will certainly make sure that my voice is heard.

I thank you for taking the time to read my application, and I hope you will allow me to prove my abilities and commitment at your university.

Sincerely,

*****

Thanks again for all your help, I know you guys are all busy and it means a lot that you're willing to help a kid out!