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Jessica York Posted 21 years ago

Unbelievable

0 Today I got to know the reason why 02br
00You opened up to me 02br
00This makes me cry 02br
02br
02br
00In vain did I try to close my eyes 02br
00Pretending not to see the truth 02br
00You’ve been too close to me 02br
00And loved me secretly besides 02br
02br
00I know that’s been only my fault 02br
00And there is no way out 02br
00My heart’s unable to revolt 02br
00Against the opinion of the crowd 02br
02br
00Not only have you made me think 02br
00But you’ve also made me stay 02br
00You’re on your knees 02br
00I hope there’ll no link 02br
02br
02br
00Between my life and yours 02br
00Forget about this strange talk 02br
00If you want,of course… 0-
  

Top answer

0 Hello Jessica 02br 02br 00Just a couple of small comments: 02br 02hr 02br 00In vain 01b 00did I try02b 00 to close my eyes ] I wonder whether the inversion here is a little awkward; the poem is otherwise written in ordinary English. 02br 02br 00I hope there’ll no link ] Has a word dropped out here? I'm not quite sure what the line means, as it stands.

— MrPedantic

  • 0 Hello Jessica 02br 02br 00Just a couple of small comments: 02br 02hr 02br 00In vain 01b 00did I try02b 00 to close my eyes ] I wonder whether the inversion here is a little awkward; the poem is otherwise written in ordinary English.
  • 02br 02br 00I hope there’ll no link ] Has a word dropped out here?
  • I'm not quite sure what the line means, as it stands.
  • 02br 02br 00If you want,of course… ] Have you thought about making this 'If you want to, of course'?
  • 02br 02br 00It's quite an interesting close to the poem.
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2 Answers
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0 Hello Jessica 02br
02br
00Just a couple of small comments: 02br
02hr
02br
00In vain 01b00did I try02b00 to close my eyes ] I wonder whether the inversion here is a little awkward; the poem is otherwise written in ordinary English. 02br
02br
00I hope there’ll no link ] Has a word dropped out here? I'm no
0
0
0 Hm...You're definitely right! 02br
00Thanks! 02br
00Is a poem banal?I thought it was but now I guess it's just what I wanted to express.[:^)] 0-
0

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