0
Mister Twister Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Two short paragraphs for review

Introduction
Technology is a very important part of our lives because in a modern society it is what we are all surrounded by. You may feel it everywhere we are: job, leisure, science, medicine and so on. Some residents I’m sure think that technology has made the world a better place to live while others may disagree. In my view, technology has made our world better for two important reasons.

Conclusion
In sum, though some may oppose my opinion, technology has made the world better because it’s not only provides us more ways to spend free time but also it helps a lot for invalids and make them feel better. That is why people should continue developing technologies.
  

Top answer

I think you need to reconsider your wording choices. Technology is a very important part of our lives because in a modern society it is what we are all surrounded by. You may feel it everywhere (I have not "felt" technology.

  • I think you need to reconsider your wording choices.
  • Technology is a very important part of our lives because in a modern society it is what we are all surrounded by.
  • You may feel it everywhere (I have not "felt" technology.
  • I can hold a cell phone in my hand, though.
  • It feels lightweight and sleek.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

4 Answers
0
I think you need to reconsider your wording choices.

Technology is a very important part of our lives because in a modern society it is what we are all surrounded by. You may feel it everywhere (I have not "felt" technology. I can hold a cell phone in my hand, though. It feels lightweight and sleek. I don't feel my flat-screen TV though.) we are: job, leisure, science, medicine
0
Thanks for your corrections again.
But I absolutely have no idea what can I use instead of 'feel'?
0
I guess u can use " face " or " find " instead of " feel "

Ps not native speaker here
0
Notice, observe, see, interact with, use, find, etc.

Related Questions