T...teachers! How's my translation? ♥

Question

Hi, teachers! ?.?I'm translating an article that covers drone delivery in the era of coronavirus!Four paragraphs comprise this article, and I've already had the first one translated and corrected!And I want you to give some advice or comments on the second paragraph, if you will ?.?I'm adding the first paragraph along with the second one I've just translated in case you need it!Some sentences feel quite awkward but I don't know what the problems are! T.t Please, I'm looking forward to getting a reply teacher! ???Drone delivery- extending its areas even into medical supplies  On April 16th, Ghana’s ministry of health successfully tested drone (a pilotless air vehicle) delivery of specimens from COVID-19 patients. Drone delivery for medicines, including vaccines, began in Ghana in April 2019, and the government decided to add medical samples to its delivery items when the coronavirus pandemic emerged. In China, a drone with a patient’s sample traveled a distance of 3 km from a hospital located in Xinchang County, Zhejiang Province, to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) in February 2020. It took only 3 minutes which would have been 20 minutes by land.  As coronavirus is spreading all across the globe, all countries of the world are using drones in taking preventive measures against the pandemic and consigning articles and goods to isolated households and hospitals. An American company Zipline started drone delivery service of transfusion blood in Rwanda, Africa, in 2016. Rwanda has 20 times higher childbirth related deaths than those of the U.S. Most of the women died from excessive bleeding, which came of  the fact that they could not receive a blood transfusion in time. When a local hospital in the country ran out of blood, it had to waste three to four hours waiting for a car to go to and get back from the blood centre located in the capital. Drone delivery shortened this time to 15 minutes.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

ANNE202As coronavirus is spreading all across the globe, all countries of the world are using drones in taking preventive measures against the pandemic and consigning articles and goods to isolated households and hospitals.

The progressive aspect "is spreading" sets the reader a puzzle—does "as" mean "at the same time" or "because" or something else? Repeating "all" like that is infelicitous, and the word is not really needed with "across" (and are we sure all countries are doing this?). "Of the world" seems unnecessary, especially after "the globe". It is not clear that "consigning" is part two of the "in" phrase. "Consign" is best reserved for occasions when its specific meanings are strictly called for. "Articles" looks like you didn't want to write "things", and how are articles different from goods? I put "necessities", but I am not happy with it. What exactly are these drones carrying? Put that.

As coronavirus spreads across the globe, all countries are using drones in taking preventive measures against the pandemic, carrying necessities to isolated households and hospitals.

ANNE202An American company Zipline started drone delivery service of transfusion blood in Rwanda, Africa, in 2016.

As it stands, "Zipline" is appositive and needs two commas, but I think it is better with "the" because "an" stresses the fact that they are American for no good reason. "Service" is not called for. We don't tack the continent on as part of the address—it can go first. "Transfusion blood" is not wrong, but the adjectival use of "transfusion" seems strained.

In Africa, the American company Zipline started drone delivery of blood for transfusion in Rwanda in 2016.

ANNE202Rwanda has 20 times higher childbirth related deaths than those of the U.S.

The death rate for women in childbirth in Rwanda is 20 times that of the US.

ANNE202Most of the women died from excessive bleeding, which came of the fact that they could not receive a blood transfusion in time.

Most of these women died from excessive bleeding, which came of the fact that they could not receive a blood transfusion in time.

ANNE202When a local hospital in the country ran out of blood, it had to waste three to four hours waiting for a car to go to and get back from the blood centre located in the capital.

"Local" does not mean what you want it to. The hospital was not the one waiting. "Three to four" is too specific. "Go to and get back from" can be more concise. "Blood centre" is understandable, but we have a word for that.

When a hospital in the countryside ran out of blood, doctors had to waste several hours waiting for a car to make the round trip to the blood bank located in the capital.

ANNE202Drone delivery shortened this time to 15 minutes.

Good.

Persian Learner · Answer

ANNE202Hi, teachers!

Hi Anne. Please post your paragraphs/essays/translations in our essay forum:

Thread Moved.

T...teachers! How's my translation? ♥

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions