Trying to get into college, is this a good essay for my English professor?

Chapter 1
Someone new

Where is he Marion thought as she waited patiently in her seat. She was waiting for her husband Indiana Jones.
“sorry i’m late” Indy said as he ate his stake.
“so where is your friend” Marion said “so?” Marion asked.
“He’s coming you just have to be patient” Indy said.
Then he came.
“Marion this is Robbie,Robbie Marian,Marion Robbie” Indy said “Hi” Robbie said.

“Where is your food?” Marion questioned.
“What?” Robbie said.
“You need to eat you need food” Marion said as she passed some plates and silverware.
“Um thanks” Robbie said.
A german waiter came and said “what would you like sir”.
This is not a waiter Robbie thought what should I do?
“Sir can I see your identification please” Robbie asked
“Why” the Nazi Replied.
“Because I know you're a Nazi” Robbie said.
The Nazi ran as fast as he could but Robbie was faster.
“Put your hands up now!”Robbie yelled.
Robbie took out his pistol and shot at the Nazi BANG BANG BANG! the last shot hit the Nazi. The Nazi fell onto the pavement.
“Who do you work for punk” Robbie yelled as he punched the Nazi. Click click Robbie looked up and there was standing a man.
“Jonah?” Robbie questioned.
“Ya now Detritic who are you working for” Jonah asked.
“What! you know this guy!” Robbie yelled.
“Ya I went to college with him he sighed up to be a military sergeant”Jonah said.
Then a man came up behind Jonah and kicked him.Jonah fell over and
then a man appeared Robbie knew him from middle school he was mean to him to him and next to him were Nazi’s.
“ Hand the gun over Robbie” the man said
“Well well well looked who is working for the Nazi’s now Logan Lom” Robbie said.
“Yes now hand the gun over” Logan said
.36+
“No” Robbie remarked.
Logan got so mad that he shot at Robbie BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!. BANG! BANG! Robbie and Jonah shot the two Nazis. Logan surrendered and joined their side.

Chapter 2
Confess and Problems

As Robbie and his team were on the move the Nazi’s were traveling also.
“Mr.Kronos where are we heading” a Nazi asked
“Down to Florida where I will meet Luke to get info on the powerful Demigod” he answered.
“Florida? how long will we be staying there” the Nazi asked.
“Until we have a plan” Kronos answered as he left

Meanwhile...

Robbie and his team were at the airport going to Orlando Florida as they were on the plane Robbie’s team got to know each other.
“Robbie I was never mad at you,you thought I was and I tryed to tell you but I was scared too”Logan confessed.
“Logan don’t confessed now,after a while I believed you and I was wrong about you,you are something different to me but I have to confesse I am a Demigod” Robbie confessed.
“WHAT!” Logan yelled.
“Shh yes of all gods now keep it-” Robbie looked up and shut up.
“What?” Logan asked.
Then Logan looked and saw it to. It was a Nazi coming up the aisle. Robbie hid under the seat. The Nazi was looking for him and he knew it. If the Nazi found him he would be dead for sure. Robbie got out a pen. Robbie was not going to be taken away without a fight. The Nazi was right at his seat. Instead of taking Robbie he took Logan.
“Let go of me you Nazi”Logan said.
Click Click Sing a sword flew out of Robbie’s pen. Robbie jumped out of were he was hiding and attacked the Nazi. Logan dropped to the floor. The Nazi crawled away in agony. Ring Ring it was Logan’s phone.
“Hello” Logan said.
“Yes hello is Logan there” someone said.
“This is Logan” Logan said.
“Oh this is Maddy Carlson your wife and I was wondering if you want me to meet you in Florida?” Maddy asked.
“Sure” Logan said sarcastic.
“Ok be there” Maddy said.
Then the phone went blank. As Robbie got ready to land in Florida when they did someone was waiting for them.
“Hailey?” Robbie questioned.
Hailey Ulmer is Robbie’s girlfriend.
“Yes” Hailey answered.
Robbie ran up to her and hugged her. Logan saw his wife Maddy and ran up to her and kissed her. Robbie started to walk out of the airport when an alarm went off. An intruder.
“Run” Robbie yelled.
Everyone ran. Robbie knew who the intruder was. It was Nazi’s and if they saw him he would be dead for sure. Robbie ran out of the airport and ran as fast as her could to get away. Robbie’s team found some taxis and got away.

At a Hotel...

Robbie stayed at a hotel that night and he had a talk with everyone.
“The Nazi’s know were hear so we need to be careful of what we do” Robbie said.
the whole group nodded. Robbie left the room he could see the window to the pool. He saw Hailey swimming. It is time Robbie thought. Robbie went to the pool. Hailey looked and got out of the water and dried herself. “Hailey I love you and I was wondering” Robbie said as he pulled out a case “will you marry me” Robbie asked.
Then Robbie opened the case and inside it was a ring with a sapphire in the middle. The sapphire was shaped like a heart. The ring was called the heart of the ocean.
“Yes” Hailey said and they hugged.
there were claps. It was Logan,Maddy,Indy and Marion. So Robbie planned to stay in Florida and have the wedding. So they moved into condos but more like a hotels that was at BlueGreen Resort. They took two condos for only three hundred bucks for two months.

you... dont need to read the rest
comment on what you think...

Chapter 3
The wedding

Two months passed and quick. It was the wedding day. As the wedding went on Robbie kept on getting nervous. When it was time to share the rings Robbie felt something bad. But he still has the wedding.
“You may now kiss the bride” the priest said.
Robbie kissed Hailey. It was the best wedding but something was wrong. All of a sudden CRASH!. It was the Nazi’s.
“Hailey I got to fight them” Robbie whispered to Hailey.
“No” Hailey whispered back.
But Robbie was already gone. Hailey looked up and saw a Nazi hand grabbing her. Robbie heard a scream.
“Not my wife you moron” Robbie yelled.
Then there was lighting it hit Robbie’s sword. the Nazi looked but all he could make out was a sword in his chest. Hailey drooped to the floor unconscious.
“Praise the gods” Robbie yelled.
There was lightning hitting the ground and there was sanding all twelve gods standing together.
“Fight the Nazi’s” Zeus yelled.
Then all twelve gods separated. Zeus landed by Robbie.
“Happy wedding Robbie” Zeus said then Zeus ran.
Zeus gave Robbie a lightning bolt. It was a forge of Zeus’s lightning bolt with all the gods symbols on it. Robbie took it and pointed it to the sky. A giant lightning bolt came down and struck the Nazi’s and then it was over. Then Robbie blacked out next to Hailey. His new wife.

Chapter 4
Going down to the city of crime

Going down to Las Vegas was a challenge but fun. Robbie stayed at a hotel that night.

At Florida...

Down by Florida Kronos was planning on his next flight to Turkey were he would be planning to start his new army to start to look for the sword of Hyrule.

At a Drury Inn

Robbie was sitting on the bottom of the pool. Flashbacks came back to what happened that day. Then Hailey appeared. Robbie rose with his powers. Robbie sat next to Hailey.
“What you did today was amazing” Hailey said.
Then a person walked in.
“Hailey?” someone said.
“Yes Zachary now look if you make fun of my Husband and you will regret doing that” Hailey said.
“Wow you married Robbie,well he’s stupid anyways” Zach said.
Then a wave went out of the pool.Hailey look and saw Robbie standing with his hands up.
“Robbie n-”.
Whoosh water hit Zachary with a massive blow. Zachary went flying into a wall injuring him. Zachary spat up water.
“Who is stupid now” Robbie said.
Zachary ran out the door to his car and left. His bags in his car.

The next day.....

Robbie was finally going to Las Vegas when they got there he was surprised. It was midnight there so they stayed at another hotel. The next day Robbie went to the building that had the letters GAC. GAC is a ghost crew they are called ghost adventures crew. They go all around the world to looking for ghost and tonight Robbie would be going on a lockdown with Zak,Nick and Aaron.

Chapter 5
Lockdown

At a museum Robbie got ready to go on a lockdown.
“This is going to be scary” Aaron said.
“Shut up” Zak said.
They went to the main room with manikins Robbie hates manikins. When they heard bangs on the top floor they headed up there.

At a hotel...

It was 12:00am. Ring Ring. The phone was ringing.
“Hello” Indy said.
“Dr.Jones?” someone said.
“Short Round?” Indy said
“Oh thank god Dr.Jones,um can I live with you” Short Round said.
“Sure?” Indy said.
“Oky Dokey” Dr.Jones” Short Round said.
Then the phone went blank. As Indy fell asleep Robbie was scared out of his shorts.

At the museum...

Robbie has heard a lot but the next EVP he was going to get was going to be scary.
“Why are you mean to me?” Robbie asked
“Your dead” The ghost replied.

Chapter 6
Short Round

Robbie was tired after the investigation when he returned to his hotel there was a kid sitting on his couch.
“Hello” the kid said.
“Um who are you” Robbie said
“Round,Short Round” the kid said
“Um hi Short Round and why are you in my apartment room” Robbie asked
“Well Indy said you like kids” Short Round told
“Well I do but not in my room at 6:00am” Robbie said
“Well do you want me to leave” Short Round said
“No just go to sleep” Robbie said.
They both fell asleep.

The next day...

Robbie woke up and went to the door. He was used to a check but not a letter. Robbie opened the letter and it read-

Dear Mr.Robert
Hi it is me Mutt and I was wondering if you would tell my dad that I am coming to Las Vegas tomorrow and that I finished college. I am now an archaeologist. I have heard that you got married to Hailey so I Left a present for you it is under the letter
Your friend
Mutt

Robbie looked under the letter and there was a watch. Robbie put it on his wrist and clicked the button that had no name. Click Click Shing. Short Round woke with a start. Robbie looked it was a shield and in the front was all the gods symbols and in the back it had- made from your moms and dads. Robbie was surprised it was made from all the gods power.

Moving into a house...


Robbie and his gang moved into a beautiful house. It was far away from Las Vegas. So Robbie could train. As Robbie was outside trying to figure out what the shield did. Robbie spun it in the air. The lightning bolt on the shield started to glow blue. then a tornado spun down. Robbie stopped spinning then the tornado stopped. Robbie fell in surprised. He found his new weapon. The shield of Narnia.

Chapter 7
Pregant?

Logan and Maddy gto moved in but Maddy had three more boxes. Logan walked in and saw the boxes.

“What are those?” Logan asked.
“Boxes” Maddy said.
“Full of what?” Logan asked.
“Logan...i’m pregnant” Maddy said.
“What!!” Logan yelled “pregnant!.”
Logan kissed Maddy over and over and ran out of the room.
“Robbie rob-wow” Logan said.
Robbie was swinging his sword at a man. The man’s name was Luke. He was one of Kronos’s army men. Then Robbie rose and behind Robbie was a storm. Luke rose with his flying shoes. But before. But before he could strike Robbie threw his sword. It happened to Logan In slow motion.
Lightning hit Robbie’s sword and struck luke in the heart. Luke flew back and hit the ground with a thud. Robbie flew down to Luke and said “let the Underworld take this one”.
Then Luke sunk into the sand.
“Wow” Logan said.
robbie looked and saw Logan looking at him. Robbie ran in his office and locked himself in it.
“Robbie you in there?” Hailey asked.
“Yes” Robbie answered.
“Well it’s time to dinner” Hailey told.
“Okay” Robbie said.
Robbie and them had a wonderful dinner. Logan told everyone that Maddy is three weeks pregant. Robbie went to bed after dinner.

Chapter 8
World War 3

“Hello I am turkish news reporter Kaan Kaya and this is breaking news the Nazi’s are back and ready to start World War 3? find out.

In the USA

Robbie heard something in the middle of the night. there was banging on the door. Marian opened the door and there standing was a Nazi. The Nazi grabbed Marian by the hair and put her in a bag

In Turkey
“Kronos a call from Luke” a Nazi said.
Kronos took the phone and talked to Luke and Kronos screamed when he heard Luke was in the Underworld.

Logan’s room
Logan was in bed thinking how good of a father he would be. When Logan fell asleep Robbie was getting up

Chapter 9
Tornado
The next day woke from a crash. He went down the stairs quietly. There was two Nazi's standing by his door. Robbie ran up stairs to his closet. He took his lighting arrows and his bow. He went to the stairs. But the Nazi's were on the third floor. Robbie pulled out one of his arrows and put it in his bow. He shot the Nazi in the back. Robbie took out his sword and ran the third floor. The Nazi took out his gun. Robbie took out his shield. Then Robbie disappeared. Robbie approached the Nazi and kicked the Nazi. The Nazi fell through the railing and hit the floor. RObbie jumped down to the Nazi. The Nazi was dead. Then Robbie heard a very bad storm coming. Robbie turned on the news.
“We have issued a tornado warning for Las Vegas please get down in your basement again we have issued a F5 tornado warning”.
Robbie ran.
“Hailey,Maddy,Logan,Indy F5 tornado warning get in the basement” Robbie yelled.
Everyone woke up and ran into the basement. Robbie ran outside and looked. There was a tornado coming right toward him. Robbie looked right into the tornado. Robbie couldn’t believe it, it was Kronos was right in the middle of the tornado. Robbie was terrified it was his grandpa. Kronos stared right into Robbie’s eyes. Robbie secretly took out his lightning bolt. Then Kronos’s eyes started to glow. Then Robbie threw his lightning bolt right at Kronos heart. Kronos screamed in pain. Then the tornado faded and Kronos dropped onto the deserted road. Robbie went up to Kronos and took one look at him and Robbie dropped oncontis. Kronos had took had took over Lukes dead body.

Chapter 10
Knock on the door
When Robbie woke up he was still laying on the road so Robbie got up and went home.
“Everyone the tornado is gone” Robbie said.
“Really” Everyone said.
“Yep” Robbie said.
"Robbie are you ok you look like you just woke up from a nightmare" Logan said
"Logan I saw..." Robbie paused
"You saw what" Logan said
"I saw Kronos my grandpa” Robbie said.
“What you saw Kronos your grandpa!” Logan said.
“Can’t you not yell and learn how to talk in a normal voice” Robbie said