truly

Question

0I am truly sorry what I'd written to you a compassion love letter a couple years ago. It was madness. I didn't even know you much. I guess I did you injustice. I have been deeply remorseful since then. I wish that you knew how much I've suffered so you can pity me. The pain is unbearable sometimes although it was not in physical. I've tried not to think about it if necessary but the dreadful memories come again and again. It is truly a punishment that fit the bad deed. No matter how repentance I am, I cannot be forgiven. It was too late that I was lead into temptation and could not be gone back. 02br02br00Are they correct?02br02br00Thank you 0-

Inchoateknowledge · Accepted Answer

0I am truly sorry 01font00about that 02font01font00compassionate02font00 01font00billet doux02font00 01font00I wrote to you02font00 a couple 01font00of02font00 years ago. It was a 01font00mistake02font00. I didn't even know you much. I guess I 01font00unjustly treated you02font00. I have been deeply remorseful since then. I wish that you knew how much 01font00I had suffered02font00 so you can feel 01font00sympathy towards me02font00. The pain is unbearable sometimes (although it was not in physical 01font00way02font00). I've tried not to think about it (01del~~00if necessary02del~~00) but the dreadful memories 01font00haunt me02font00 again and again. It is 01font00indeed02font00 a punishment that 01font00commensurates with my02font00 bad deed. No matter how 01font00repentant 02font00I am, I cannot be forgiven. 01font00It is no use crying over spilt milk; I did what I did and I must bear the consequences.02font02br
02br
00Did this happen to you, or it is just a flight of fancy?0-

Phoenix PR · Answer

0 Hi BW2/3,02br
02br
00The goal of an editor is to correct and clarify, not to change the structure and meaning so much that the original writer's "essense" is removed. Let's take these one at a time:01ul

00I am truly sorry what I'd written to you a compassion love letter a couple years ago. 01i00[Edit to: "I'm truly sorry about what I wrote to you in my compassionate love letter of several years ago." Note that I'm always going to use contractions (e.g., I'm) to be consistent throughout the paragraph.]02i02li
00It was madness. 01i00[Good sentence. Short and insightful.]02i02li
00I didn't even know you much. 01i00[Edit to: "I didn't even know you very well."]02i02li
00I guess I did you injustice. 01i00[Edit to: "I guess I didn't do you justice." (OR) 02i00"I guess I did you an injustice." depending on what you truly mean.]02li
00I have been deeply remorseful since then. 01i00[Edit to: "I've been deeply remorseful since then."]02i02li
00I wish that you knew how much I've suffered so you can pity me. 01i00[Edit to: "I wish you knew how much I've suffered -- so you can pity me." Adding the dash provides dramatic effect.]02i02li
00The pain is unbearable sometimes although it was not in physical. 01i00[Edit to: "Sometimes the pain is unbearable." You don't need to include the rest about "physical" pain because it's assumed the reader knows that it's all mental anguish via the use of the words "remorseful" and "pity" before.]02i02li
00I've tried not to think about it if necessary but the dreadful memories come again and again. 01i00[Edit to: "I've tried not to think about it, but the dreadful memories come back again and again.]02i02li
00It is truly a punishment that fit the bad deed. 01i00[Edit to: It's truly a punishment that fits the deed." The phrase is "fit the deed," so to insert the word "bad" wouldn't ring true in the ears of an English-speaker.]02i02li
00No matter how repentance I am, I cannot be forgiven. 01i00[Edit to: "No matter how repentant I am, I can't be forgiven." Note the correct use of the word "repentant".]02i02li
00It was too late that I was lead into temptation and could not be gone back. 01i00[Edit to: It's too late: I was led into temptation and I can't go back." Because you're now in the present tense -- I can't be forgiven -- this last train of thought should be in the present tense too, so that's why I phrase it the way I do.]02i02li

01b00And here are my suggested edits as a full paragraph:02b02br
02br
00I'm truly sorry about what I wrote to you in my compassionate love letter of several years ago. It was madness. I didn't even know you very well. I guess I did you an injustice. I've been deeply remorseful since then. I wish you knew how much I've suffered -- so you can pity me. Sometimes the pain is unbearable. I've tried not to think about it, but the dreadful memories come back again and again. It's truly a punishment that fits the deed. No matter how repentant I am, I can't be forgiven. It's too late: I was led into temptation and I can't go back.0-

Inchoateknowledge · Answer

0Hi Phoenix02br
02br
00I am a physicist and not an editor. Besides, a non-native helper who have been ploughing the lone furrow of his English language acquisition for less than 4 years.0-

BW2/3 · Answer

0 01blockquote

01cite10Inchoateknowledge12cite10Did this happen to you, or it is just a flight of fancy?12br
12blockquote

10Thank you all, 02br
02br
00Hi Incho,02br
02br
00It is not true at all. I made it up. I like to play around with words from my thought. 02br
02br
00Wel0-

Phoenix PR · Answer

0 Hi Incho,02br
02br
00I wasn't pointing to anyone specific when I mentioned "the goal of an editor." It could be anyone -- including me! 05002br
02br
00Congratulations on getting to where you're at today. Your English, no doubt, is much better than my French. I started taking Spanish lessons a few years ago, but work prevented me from continuing. I really should take it up again. 02br
02br
00Best regards,02br
02br
00Jim (in Phoenix)010id1

Inchoateknowledge · Answer

0 No problemo0-

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