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AngelTears6996 Posted 21 years ago

Tormented

0 My very being is consumed 02br
00My soul is tormented. 02br
00There is no stopping it. 02br
00It grows stronger with each passing day. 02br
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00If only people could see my soul. 02br
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00"Tired and torn". 02br
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00I am alone in this. 02br
00As I always thought I would be. 02br
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00I want the chains broken. 02br
00I want to love openly, 02br
00freely. 02br
00No holding back. 02br
00Never being silent. 02br
02br
00Everything that I am, is holding me here. 02br
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00"I want to free myself!!" 02br
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00"I am my own prisoner." 02br
02br
00"TORMENTED!" 02br
02br
00"What are the answers?" 02br
02br
00Fill my blanks. 02br
00Take me away from the pain. 02br
02br
00"Free me!!" 02br
02br
00Because I am Tormented. 02br
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00Please!!! 02br
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00I am on my knees, 02br
00Tormented Soul. 02br
00Dont Plauge me, 02br
00Dont consume me. 02br
00Dont take me over!!! 02br
02br
00Jessica Lamb 0-
  

Top answer

0 Too many words, Jessica, too many words. -- until you have distilled it to eight or ten lines at the most. 02br 02br 0-

  • 0 Too many words, Jessica, too many words.
  • -- until you have distilled it to eight or ten lines at the most.
  • 02br 02br 0-
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3 Answers
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0 Too many words, Jessica, too many words. Feeling is not conveyed by the pennyweight of vocabulary, all cast into a large mixing bowl; it is done by choosing the very best ingredients, the most effective combination of words.02br
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00 This poem should be worked on-- hard!-- until you have distilled it to eight or ten lines at the most. You could save a lot of spac
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I had written this a sometime ago. It was supposed to be a song.

Its not really supposed to be a poem. So was my rose.

Once i start writing i get into that mode and the words just start to fly out of me.

I had been going through a block were I couldnt write.

Ive never really been good at English. I only graduated highschool.

But i do respect your opino
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Walt Whitman never even went to high school, Jessica.

One warning sign is when 'the words fly out of you'-- aside from a few anomalies like Coleridge's 'Kublai Khan', good poetry takes careful crafting; it does not spring full-blown, like Hera from Zeus's head. Those poems that 'just fly out' need extensive revision or should be discarded; they seldom contain more than a kernel o

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