There are various perspectives on the question of whether or not how children’s habit has altered in their spare time due to the cutting-edge devices. While this development may have some benefits to a certain extent, I also believe that the drawbacks are more serious.
On the one hand, children using new technological gadgets have some positive impacts to the way they spend their free time. Firstly, it could help children to expand their communication in various ways. Taking the mobile phone as a prime example, thanks to using this piece of technology, children have chances to connect to virtual friend circles throughout social apps such as facebook, zalo or so instead of engaging in outdoor activities containing potential risks of injuries and dangers. Secondly, technologies endow teenagers with available educational resources for entertainment or studying. E-book is a case in point, the youth could carry whole of the library with thousands of publications to everywhere they want for reading, which is the best remedy for releasing their burdens after hard working hours.
On the other hand, I believe that the demerits are more significant than the merits. Initially, the overuse of the technological gadgets could affect adversely to the youth’s health. This is simply because it would lead to a sedentary lifestyle if children utilized all day round, triggering the myriad health problems such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases or so. In addition, children are easy to be incited by cybercriminals. The main reason is that they can not differentiate righteousness from fallacies; thus, they could not resist the temptations and have anti-social behavior. Finally, teenagers might immerse themselves in virtual friend circles. In other words, it may discourage the face-to-face interaction between children; hence, the young generation can be unbiased to have a get-together for a meeting in real life to bond with others.
In conclusion, although the use of high-tech products in children’s spare time has some upsides to some extent, it is also my belief that their downsides are more remarkable.
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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
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Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
My essay:
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There are various perspectives on the question of whether or not how children’s habit (wrong form) has altered (wrong form) in their spare time (??) due to the cutting-edge devices. (