Too smart for his own good!

Question

Too Smart for His Own Good!Tonight I met one of my elder schoolmates, who was very handsome, talented, sapient, and cocky in college. He got to be so popular among girls that he changed his girl friends faster than we changed our clothes for the seasons. No one who knew him but envy his good luck!As years passed by, this smart guy went smoothly for a while, getting his master degree, and then seizing the scarce and coveted ph.d scholarship of the Cornell University. Nevertheless, his good lot began to turn as he didn't get the ph.d and ran back home.He was too smart for his own good, as a missionary once said about him!Now, he doesn't have a job. His folks have already given up on him. He lives alone in his parents' house without tap water and electricity!"How miserable!" I was thinking on the way home. "A guy with his caliber should come out at the top of this society! But alas, how come he is as good as a bum now?"All of a sudden, "too smart for his own good" comes to mind!Hi,I wrote the above trying to hone my English writing skill. Correct me if I am wrong. Thanks.

CalifJim · Accepted Answer

Tonight I met one of my elder schoolmates, who was very handsome, talented, sapient, and cocky in college. He got to be so popular among girls that he changed his girl friends faster than we changed our clothes for the seasons. No one who knew him but envy his good luck!
As years passed by, this smart guy went smoothly for a while, getting his master degree, and then seizing the scarce and coveted ph.d scholarship of the Cornell University. Nevertheless, his good lot began to turn as he didn't get the ph.d and ran back home.
He was too smart for his own good, as a missionary once said about him!
Now, he doesn't have a job. His folks have already given up on him. He lives alone in his parents' house without tap water and electricity!
"How miserable!" I was thinking on the way home. "A guy with his caliber should come out at the top of this society! But alas, how come he is as good as a *** now?"
All of a sudden, "too smart for his own good" comes to mind!
_____________________

Tonight I ran into a former schoolmate, one who was a little older than me. Handsome, talented, and bright, he had everything going for him -- including the cockiness to go with it. He got to be so popular with the girls that he changed girl friends faster than we changed clothes. No one who knew him could help but envy his good luck!

As the years passed, things went smoothly for him for a while. He got his master's degree, and then won a coveted scholarship to work on his Ph.D. at Cornell University. But before long, his good luck began to turn. He never finished his Ph.D., and he ended up going back home a failure. As a missionary once said about him, he was too smart for his own good!

Now unemployed, his folks have given up on him. He lives alone in his parents' house without electricity or running water! "How miserable!" I was thinking on the way home. "A guy of his caliber should have excelled. He should have finished at the top of his class. How could he have sunk so low? Now he's no better than a ***." All of a sudden, the missionary's words came back to me, and I thought, "Too smart for his own good!"
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sapient is a million-dollar word. It doesn't fit the style of your story.
coveted is enough. You don't need to add scarce.
I assume his parents have died. And yet you say they've given up on him, as if they are alive. Why is he alone in his parents' house? That part is a little strange to my ear.
The specific mention that it was a missionary who had said he was too smart for his own good doesn't seem relevant to the story. I think I would have just said that "someone" made that remark. I tried to save the story from that flaw by bringing the missionary back into the story at the end.

Much of my version of the story is simply an alternate way of phrasing the story. It does not mean that your choices are wrong. Don't think that my version is the final word. The story can be polished even more if you wish.

The basic premise -- that the guy is "too smart for his own good" -- does not come through, unfortunately. You provide no evidence that he actually did anything himself by which he caused his own downfall, which is what I take the saying to mean. The bad luck just seems to come suddenly from nowhere.

Excellent work, all in all! You should be very pleased with yourself.

CJ

Angliholic · Answer

I'm greatly indebted to you for your time, correction, and comment.

Thanks again, Jim.

CalifJim · Answer

Too smart for his own good!

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