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Usenet Posted 17 years ago
Screenwriting
Too much dialog?
MICHAEL O'TOOLE
I have, in my time, visited three
political conventions, four sessions
of congress, and two homes for the
criminally insane. I have known army
generals, steam doctors, vegetarians,
prohibitionists, and a female
suffragette. But never, even in an
Orangeman's Day parade, have I seen
such pure and stainless brainlessness
as I now behold in you. The Almighty,
in His infinite wisdom and mercy,
has given the worm enough sense to
turn with, and the barnacle can grasp
whatever happens to be standing by.
But you are equipped with a mental
capacity smaller than you were born
with. Here we are, benighted in the
middle of a nowhere named Molly-Be-
Damn - a dreary little rookery,
Timothy, a squalid sty, a festering
pustule on the face of the western
slope. Bless the town and bless the
people! Look at them - the rabble of
this cantankerous community! Knaves
and fools, louts and lardheads, the
least of all God's creatures, without
enough push to pick the fleas off
each other, abiding in putrefaction
and inertia, curled up comfy in it
like hogs in a mud hole! And while
I, of all people, fret and sweat for
a way to pull these Simple Simons
out of the bog, you stand around
making flatulent noises for the
titillation of the vulgar mob. And
while he's bubbling himself, what
are you doing, you pusillanimous
pack of popcorn pickers? You clattered
clutch of clucks? The town
dilapidating around you, coasting
downhill in a handcart to Hell while
you stand about gaping for flies and
going patty-cake with your hands!
MAYOR
There now! Now just one minute you!
MICHAEL O'TOOLE
All right, all right, all right!
Fine! Keep it, and treasure it the
way it is! For when all this trash
has collapsed into one pile, and the
howling wilderness has claimed its
own again, I want you hicks to be
happy, belching and spitting, laughing
and singing, swinging from tree to
tree, with your friend Soapy Sam
here, the Uriah Heep of the hookworm
belt, standing around below waiting
to steal anything that falls to the
ground. If a nut should drop and
fall - leave it lying there. It's
probably my little brother Timothy.
SHERIFF
Is that all?
O'Toole throws up his hands.
Crowd applauds.
SHERIFF
By acclamation - the winner of the
cussin' contest - Michael O'Toole!
(from "Brothers O'Toole")
RonB
"There's a story there...somewhere"
I have, in my time, visited three
political conventions, four sessions
of congress, and two homes for the
criminally insane. I have known army
generals, steam doctors, vegetarians,
prohibitionists, and a female
suffragette. But never, even in an
Orangeman's Day parade, have I seen
such pure and stainless brainlessness
as I now behold in you. The Almighty,
in His infinite wisdom and mercy,
has given the worm enough sense to
turn with, and the barnacle can grasp
whatever happens to be standing by.
But you are equipped with a mental
capacity smaller than you were born
with. Here we are, benighted in the
middle of a nowhere named Molly-Be-
Damn - a dreary little rookery,
Timothy, a squalid sty, a festering
pustule on the face of the western
slope. Bless the town and bless the
people! Look at them - the rabble of
this cantankerous community! Knaves
and fools, louts and lardheads, the
least of all God's creatures, without
enough push to pick the fleas off
each other, abiding in putrefaction
and inertia, curled up comfy in it
like hogs in a mud hole! And while
I, of all people, fret and sweat for
a way to pull these Simple Simons
out of the bog, you stand around
making flatulent noises for the
titillation of the vulgar mob. And
while he's bubbling himself, what
are you doing, you pusillanimous
pack of popcorn pickers? You clattered
clutch of clucks? The town
dilapidating around you, coasting
downhill in a handcart to Hell while
you stand about gaping for flies and
going patty-cake with your hands!
MAYOR
There now! Now just one minute you!
MICHAEL O'TOOLE
All right, all right, all right!
Fine! Keep it, and treasure it the
way it is! For when all this trash
has collapsed into one pile, and the
howling wilderness has claimed its
own again, I want you hicks to be
happy, belching and spitting, laughing
and singing, swinging from tree to
tree, with your friend Soapy Sam
here, the Uriah Heep of the hookworm
belt, standing around below waiting
to steal anything that falls to the
ground. If a nut should drop and
fall - leave it lying there. It's
probably my little brother Timothy.
SHERIFF
Is that all?
O'Toole throws up his hands.
Crowd applauds.
SHERIFF
By acclamation - the winner of the
cussin' contest - Michael O'Toole!
(from "Brothers O'Toole")
RonB
"There's a story there...somewhere"
Top answer
Nope it's exactly the amount required.
- Nope it's exactly the amount required.
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3 Answers
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I'd like to see what the setting is - if it's a real soapbox debate in public before the cussin contest starts, and whether the mood is good-natured is serious. I didn't know it was a contest until after reading it - setting it at a carnival, maybe at the American Legion hall, beforehand - but you probably just left off the action lines. Fun speech though.
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[nq:1]I'd like to see what the setting is - if it's a real soapbox debate in public before the cussin ... maybe at the American Legion hall, beforehand - but you probably just left off the action lines. Fun speech though.[/nq]
It's from John Astin's movie "Brother's O'Toole" (1973). It's been about
30 years since I've seen the movie but I still remember this one scene.And, you're ri
It's from John Astin's movie "Brother's O'Toole" (1973). It's been about
30 years since I've seen the movie but I still remember this one scene.And, you're ri
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