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Ayan86 Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Too many "of"?

Hi!

Is this sentence okay? Or are there too many "of"s?

The procedure provides a speedy solution in case of signs of aging of skin: deep and subtle wrinkles, loss of skin elasticity and radiation, uneven skin texture and hyperpigmentation.



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Top answer

The underlined part is OK to my eye. I think you may mean "radiance" rather than "radiation". Somehow after the colon I expect an explanation of the solution rather than of the signs of aging.

— GPY

  • The underlined part is OK to my eye.
  • I think you may mean "radiance" rather than "radiation".
  • Somehow after the colon I expect an explanation of the solution rather than of the signs of aging.
  • I would consider replacing the colon with "such as" or something similar.
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1 Answers
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The underlined part is OK to my eye.

I think you may mean "radiance" rather than "radiation".

Somehow after the colon I expect an explanation of the solution rather than of the signs of aging. I would consider replacing the colon with "such as" or something similar.
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