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Geo Riyad Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Toefl writing test.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement’’ technology helps people to learn quickly and efficiently’’ support your position with reasons and examples.

I completely agree with the statement that the technology helps people to learn quickly and efficiently, for some simple reasons, first one is that the high technologies such as computers and what the computers included make it easier and quite different than those traditional methods; second the learning will be faster.

First reason, as I said in the introduction, about the quality of the information, imagine how the software could be useful to understand the facts and the physical meaning of the subjects, for example simulation software is the most powerful example, simulation software makes you live the reality of the subject that you can see and observe in the real life, for an example in Aircrafts the pilot must do particle hours before he can get the license, without this simulation program how the pilot can learn to fly or to be able to get the same skills that he learned from the simulation program.

Second reason, searching for references, The technologies make it faster and easier, for example imagine how much time you will save if you are using Google or other search engines instead of looking for the same objects in the libraries or asking some friends about the project.

We don’t forget internet, the internet is playing a great role in education for the students and I am one of them, by one click you get huge data about what you are looking for, for example to prepare for this exam, the internet was a simple, good and easy way to get qualified date and not poring, one time watch videos another time see graphics and so on.

Finally I want to say that the technologies give us an excellent chance to get qualified data with less time and less stress, and sometimes you can’t get the same result by using traditional methods as I mentioned above about the simulation programs.
  

Top answer

Hi, My major concern is that your writing is full of 'run-on' sentences. This means that lots of your sentences are all squeezed up into one that has no correct grammar structure. Your second paragraph, for example, consists simply of one long and incorrect sentence.

  • Hi, My major concern is that your writing is full of 'run-on' sentences.
  • This means that lots of your sentences are all squeezed up into one that has no correct grammar structure.
  • Your second paragraph, for example, consists simply of one long and incorrect sentence.
  • This makes it very hard for anyone to understand your meaning.
  • You need to try to divide your writing into correct sentences, each starting with a capital letter and ending with a period or a question mark.
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1 Answers
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Hi,

My major concern is that your writing is full of 'run-on' sentences. This means that lots of your sentences are all squeezed up into one that has no correct grammar structure. Your second paragraph, for example, consists simply of one long and incorrect sentence.

This makes i

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