TOEFL Writing--Independent

I will appreciate if someone helps me to correct my mistakes.

Topic: Imagine that you are a student at a university where there are long breaks between semesters. The university requires all students to do one of the following for one month during the break.

1. Students must take a course which has no direct connection to their major (for example, students majoring in engineering take a course in fine arts or social sciences)
2. Students must volunteer to work on a project in their university’s city or hometown to improve some aspect of life in the city or hometown. For example, a student can work with primary school children who need help with their homework.

Which one do you prefer? Present reasons and examples to support your answer.

In today's modern world, universities as a bed of students' training can provide good opportunities for active participation of students in a community. In this regard, universities have provided plans -such as taking an irrelevant course or doing a volunteer work in order to improve some facet of life in a city- which choosing one of them is compulsory for students. Although studying a course in a new filed would need less effort sometimes, I prefer to experience voluntary work for several reasons.

I strongly believe that doing some voluntary work not only can have much merit for a student, but have some benefit for the government as well. The first big advantage is that doing a voluntary work can lead to learn and obtain information about different jobs for a student, and in so doing, their professional experience would be increased. In addition, it would probably reduce extra costs such as training for the government. For example, when a student who wants to be a teacher in the future participates in a teamwork, he or she can learn camaraderie, being a member of a group, and doing duties together with other colleagues without any costs. Undoubtedly, such person can have a much impressive performance and will be able to teach this “crucial hands-on experience” to his or her students. However, taking courses which will not be used in one's job in the future is absurd. As a matter of fact, this probably wastes time, money, and effort for both students and the government.

Without any doubt, in a perfect world all individuals as a human being have a responsibility towards the country in which they live, society, and other people. To illustrate my point, I would like to provide a quote from the leader of the Indian independence movement. As Mahatma Gandhi once said that, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” It is clearly understandable that voluntary work can be an excellent opportunity so that all people can behave with each other in a kindly, friendly, and respectful manner. As far as I am concerned, sense of worthiness, usefulness, and satisfaction are the valuable results of helping and not taking each other for granted. Moreover, these good feelings can bring about to live a happy, peaceful, and amazing life for all people. Indeed, the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more. Nevertheless, an irrelevant course to one's field of study does not have any results apart from getting bored. This is mainly because students possibly are not interested in subjects which are different from their major so much so that subjects taught in these courses are quickly forgotten by students. Statistics show that in most cases students have gotten a low score for such an irrelevant course. It is evident that students cannot have a good academic performance unless they are interested in a subject which they have to study. Therefore, doing a course which is not related to students’ major tends to have a more negative effect in comparison to benefit. This is something similar to evaluating a Biology major based on their knowledge of American history.

In conclusion, despite the fact that doing a course can take lesser time of a student, I prefer to be a useful person and by doing my civic responsibilities help other people, thereby improving my skills and abilities, and gaining new experience as well.