TOEFL Independent Task 2: Whether grades encourage students to learn?

Question

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.There is a question of whether grades encourage students to learn or not. While many hold the view that they do not motivate the learners, I firmly believe that grades encourage students to learn.First, having high grades makes students happy and confident. The pleasure of earning high scores in schools is undeniable. Students will be proud of themselves, and classmates will look up at them. This will indeed motivate students to learn more. The perfect example of this is my little cousin Tom. He did not care much with studying, but when he got the first perfect score in his Math class, the little boy was filled with joy, and he became more and more excited with learning Math ever since.Second, grades are important for students when they apply for universities or jobs later on. As we all know, applicants with more impressive marks in school are more likely to get accepted. Because students always want to be admitted by top universities as well as get good jobs, they will focus more on learning, knowing that is the only way they could achieve high grades, which would help to make their profiles better.Another reason marks encourage students to learn is that getting good grades gives students opportunities to get scholarships. As we all know, many schools offer scholarships, which often comes with money, to learners with high grades. Winning these supports means a lot to students because it helps them alleviate the financial burden for their parents. I was awarded several scholarships when I was in college, and it really encouraged me to engage in studying these days.In conclusion, grading is definitely motivating students because having high marks gives them a sense of pride. Moreover, students with high scores in schools will have more chances to win scholarships and more advantages when they apply for jobs or universities in the future.(315 words)

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

There is a question of whether grades encourage students to learn or not.

(Better: Instead of saying "there is a question," simply pose the question. e.g. " Do grades motivate students to learn?" )

While many hold the view that they do not ~~motivate the learners~~, (Avoid repetition and unwieldy word substitutions.) I firmly believe that grades do encourage students to learn. (learning.)

First, having high grades makes students happy and confident. The pleasure of earning high scores in schools (wrong form) is undeniable. Students will be proud of themselves, and classmates will look up to at them. This will indeed motivate students to learn more. The perfect example of this is my little cousin Tom. He did not care much ~~with~~ about studying, but when he got the first perfect score in his Math class, the little boy was filled with joy, and he became more and more excited about ~~with~~ learning Math ever since.

Second, grades are important for students when they apply for universities or jobs later on. As we all know, applicants with more impressive marks in school are more likely to get ~~accepted~~. (selected over their less-qualified peers.) Because students always want to be admitted by top universities as well as get good jobs, they will focus more on learning, knowing that is the only way they could achieve high grades, which would help to make their resume ~~profiles~~ better.

Another reason marks encourage students to learn is that getting good grades gives students opportunities to get scholarships. As we all know, many schools offer scholarships, which often comes (wrong form) with money for living expenses as well as tuition, to learners with high grades. Winning these ~~supports~~ means a lot to students because it helps them alleviate the financial burden on for their parents. I was awarded several scholarships when I was in college, and it really encouraged me to engage in (concentrate on my studies) studying ~~these days~~.

In conclusion, grading is definitely motivating students because having high marks gives them a sense of pride. Moreover, students with high scores in schools will have more chances to win scholarships and to be selected ~~more advantages~~ when they apply for jobs or universities in the future.

TOEFL Independent Task 2: Whether grades encourage students to learn?

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