Toefl ibt writing section

Can You please grade my TOEFL essay

Topic
Some people like to communicate by email and voice mail. other people like to communicate by telephone or face to face. Which type of communication do you prefer, and why ? Be sure to include details and examples to support your opinion

Answer
Although some people prefer to communicate via email and voice email, In my opinion communication by telephone or face to face is far more effective and this is mainly because of two reasons:
first, communication by the phone or face to face give us a better glance at the persons emotions
for example, consider people who are communicating via email, these individuals wont really know how the other person really feels and what he means by his message , and this might leads to confusion between the individuals. On the other side two people who are talking by the phone or face to face will surely understand each other and know what the other individual mean , and this is made possible by our face expression, our voice tone, our gestures, and all the physical movement we are performing while talking to the individual right in front of us. Also we can say communication via email might sometimes lead to conflict and the other person might get the message in a wrong way and this leads to an argument between the two sides, but by talking through the phone or face to face we can exactly convey our message and explain in a more fluent way than by email.
Second , we can also say that all this advancement in technology like talking through the email is making us socially isolated and a more traditional face to face talk is becoming obsolete in society. I think its far more better that two individuals meet up to have a nice conversation with a cup of coffee, than texting and sending emails all the time. This way of communication is original in a way that it enable us to be part of society and have more friends and connections with people rather than using the email and the social network that connect us with people in a superficial way and thus does not enable real relationships to develop.

and if there are any remarks please let me know , thank you