To: MountainHiker / Motivation Letter - need help

Dear MountainHiker,

I read almost all your comments and I think I became one of your fanatic

I tried to apply all what you suggested to other, however it was very hard job and this draft is very close to finish.

Please can you give me some advice? I am sure there is space for progress, as I feel it but cannot see what to do to improve it

Also if there is someone else with any advice I would be more than glad to hear it!!

Thank you a lot in advance!!

Artur
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March 27, 2012

Admissions Office
University Amsterdam
The Netherlands

Dear Sir or Madam:

I would like to apply to your program Master's Degree in Business Administration: Specialization in Human Resource Management starting in September 2012. This program is a concrete step towards my future career as a businessperson who appreciates and understands that the backbone of any successful company is the HR department. After I complete my Master’s degree, my further ambition is to earn MBA in Human Resource Management degree.

In 2003, I set an important goal for myself which was to study in UK University and after four years hard working in 2007, I had been accepted to - x - University. It was the hardest time in my life as I had not only financial difficulties to achieve this goal, but language barrier was so high so I almost gave up. However as I am self-motivated and persistent person who is not afraid of hard challenging work, in 2010, I earned a BA/BSc Business Management degree from -x- University, School of Business & Social Sciences in Great Britain.

Complementing my academic performance are my advanced skills in leadership and communication. In several of the projects during my studies, I was the team leader responsible for building and leading our project team. At the beginning of HRM program, students were assigned into groups of four to study on HR Best Practice models. Everyone taught his or her teammates while exploiting his or her own special expertise. As the team leader, I was responsible for not only my selection and recruitment area of expertise, but also distributing project assignments and responsibilities as well as governing interpersonal relationships.

After my first biggest success in hiring, I learned to understand how emotions, especially enthusiasm, can motivate others to perform better. I hire person without qualification and English language. After one year she became a Manager Assistant in „Young‘s“Organisation in London.

During my first internship in Latvia, in SIA “BALLA” I applied HR best fit practice to get right employees for Organisation. Also Director agreed with my advice to change communicational system and to give more empowerment to employees so all issues is solved faster and without delayed response from General Manager. I learned that trust and communication between employee and employer can bring significant performance to Organisation.

While my academic career is vitally important to me, so are my extracurricular activities. I was part of Grammar School of Nordic Languages swimming team. Swimming has been a part of my life for more that twelve years. A few years back, before moving to the UK, I was a talented prospect swimming for Latvian swimming team and we achieve great results in the international competitions in other EU countries. I still manage to attempt swimming pool as it is part of my life. As a student-athlete I have developed strong time management skills. Furthermore, sports helped me thrive upon challenging, fast-paced, chaotic environments.

Although I enjoy a variety of athletic activities—such as Ice hockey, cycling and football—team sports have always been particularly appealing to me, as I value working in collaboration with others. However I am not afraid to work on my own to achieve best results, like swimming. My athletic background mirrors my high work ethic and ability to accomplish what I set out to do.
Last summer I cycled 1600 kilometres in two weeks, travelling from UK, London to Latvia, Riga. It shows my strength and motivation of achieving all my dreams and goals. This trip helped me to get know myself better and to understand how to use my powerful skills in everyday life and future.

My future plan after I complete my Master’s degree is to get internship in „Wal-Mart“United States to get high valuated HR experience and practice. I have always tried to apply my theoretical knowledge in practice. This is why I am willing to take internship during my free time.
As well, my ambition is continuing my studies in MBA Human Resource Management degree in USA in one of the top fifty Universities such as Michigan State University, Stanford University or Howard University, so I can share my real experiences and applied knowledge to the students.

I have a flexible attitude and can work well with team or independent research, which is so vital for this master’s degree. Besides, this program will not only prepare me for a career in human resources but will prepear me for MBA.

I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experience gained from my internship. I will enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,
Artur