Hi there ^^. I would be very grateful if you could have a look and check grammar/vocab mistakes in my essay. I am appreciative of your comments on how I should fix my writing style as well. Thank you to the moon and back
))
Question: Some people say the time spent on computer games can be valuable for children. Other believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both of views and give your own opinion. (250-300 words)
Computer games are, nowadays, gaining in popularity, leading to the increasing time children spend playing them. Although viewed as beneficial for children by some, the time spent on computer games is considered detrimental to children by many others. From my point of view, despite some obvious merits of children's time spent on computer games, its demerits are much weightier.
On the one hand, it should be recognised that the time spent on playing computer games offers children several advantages. Firstly, computer games require children a great deal of attention and thinking, thus, assist them in having their cognitive kills developed. For example, it is through playing computer games that young players grow to be more efficient in contemplating strategies and tactics with a view to obtaining their desired scores. Secondly, there is no denying that playing computer games means a recreation for children, resulting in the fact that the time spent on these games can be a solution to children's stress and anxiety from their overwhelmingly heavy schoolwork.
On the of the hand, the considerable downsides of children's increasing time squandered on virtual games should never be overshadowed. To begin with, computer games are becoming so captivating and alluring that they can be highly addictive. As a consequence, it is a common picture of the young generation glued to their virtual source of entertainment, neglecting their other aspects of life. Health issues, deteriorated academic performance coupled with a severe lack of interpersonal interaction, which stem from computer game addiction, can leave an adverse impact on children's all-round development.
In conclusion, no matter how valuable the time children spend on virtual games considered to be, its downsides are too substantial to be outweighed.
282 words
Computer games are, nowadays, gaining in popularity, leading to the increasing time children spend playing them. Although viewed as beneficial for children by some, the time spent on computer games is considered detrimental to children by many others. From my point of view, despite some obvious merits of children's limited benefits, time spent on playing computer games causes several problems.
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
Computer games are, nowadays, gaining in popularity, leading to the increasing time children spend playing them. Although viewed as beneficial for children by some, the time spent on computer games is considered detrimental to children by many others. From my point of view, despite some obvious merits of children's limited benefits, ti