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Mr. Tom Posted 16 years ago
Grammar
Tie it high up in a tree. As the wind fans it..
Hi
Could you please tell me if the following lines are natural, especially the yellow parts? Any suggestions are welcome.
(wizard to a young man, giving him a wet handkerchief)
Tie it high up in a tree. As the wind fans it, the doors to success will open for you. Check it out exactly after 24 hours, if it's still wet, you should understand there is an evil eye on you.
Thanks,
Tom
PS: Is the green description correctly given?
Could you please tell me if the following lines are natural, especially the yellow parts? Any suggestions are welcome.
(wizard to a young man, giving him a wet handkerchief)
Tie it high up in a tree. As the wind fans it, the doors to success will open for you. Check it out exactly after 24 hours, if it's still wet, you should understand there is an evil eye on you.
Thanks,
Tom
PS: Is the green description correctly given?
Top answer
In the context of a wizards-and-sorcery narrative, it's natural except for "exactly after". There is also a comma splice that needs fixing: "Tie it high up in a tree. As the wind fans it, the doors to success will open for you.
- In the context of a wizards-and-sorcery narrative, it's natural except for "exactly after".
- There is also a comma splice that needs fixing: "Tie it high up in a tree.
- As the wind fans it, the doors to success will open for you.
- " The description highlighted in green is correct English.
- It possibly should begin with a capital letter.
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1 Answers
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In the context of a wizards-and-sorcery narrative, it's natural except for "exactly after". There is also a comma splice that needs fixing:
"Tie it high up in a tree. As the wind fans it, the doors to success will open for you. Check it out after exactly 24 hours; if it's still wet, you should understand there is an evil eye on you."
The description highlighted in
"Tie it high up in a tree. As the wind fans it, the doors to success will open for you. Check it out after exactly 24 hours; if it's still wet, you should understand there is an evil eye on you."
The description highlighted in
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