This or That

Hi

I know the general difference between this and that, but in some instances, I don't know which one to pick.

For example in the following cases:

"I’m thirty-eight," she said. "Does this/that bother you?"

and

“Your father and I don’t love each other anymore,” my mother said crestfallen while folding a t-shirt. As a six-year-old, I failed to see the long-term implications of this sentence.

Thanks in advance.