This is my writing task 1. Please help me correct it. Thank you so much.

Question

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Answer

The chart illustrates the percentage about famous sports played by New Zealand boys and girls in 2002.

Overall there were significant differences between the propotion of boys and girls participated in common sports. Nevertheless the percentages both genders played basketball and tennis showed the similar trend.

Out of girls, Netball had the highest rate was 25% and slightly lower percentage 22% girls took part in swimming. About 7% and 8% girls played basketball and tennis respectively which were 2% lower compared to boys rate. Soccer and athletics had the similar rate 5% while martial arts and cricket had less than 4% girls participated. The last one others unspecific sports boys participated in are soccer, swimming and cricket wit 25%, 13%, 12% respectively. Martial arts, tennis and basketball have had the lower figures between 11% and 8%. The others sports had 18% boys played in 2002.

Hương Giang · Accepted Answer

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Please post essays in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

The (what kind of chart?) chart illustrates (wrong word. "Illustrate" means "make a picture". Use this for diagrams, maps and other kinds of images. Use show, give, compare, or plot for charts and graphs.) the percentage about famous sports (incorrect. It does not show percentages of sports.) played by New Zealand boys and girls in 2002.

Sample paragraph that describes the figure:

The bar chart plots the proportion of girls versus the proportion of boys who participated in various sports in 2002 in New Zealand. Eight different sports are listed, from team sports (soccer, netball, basketball and cricket), to individual sports (tennis, martial arts, athletics and swimming). There is also a category for other sports not listed.

Overall there were significant differences between the propotion of boys and girls participated (ungrammatical. You missed a relative pronoun. Do you know about relative clauses?) in ~~common~~ these sports. Nevertheless the percentages both genders (ungrammatical. You missed a relative pronoun.) played basketball and tennis showed the similar trend. (wrong word. Read my advice on vocabulary for Task 1. Girls participated less than boys in six of the eight categories. The two with more girls' participation were netball and swimming.

Out of girls, (wrong phrase - For the girls,) Netball (no capital) had the highest rate was 25% (ungrammatical. You cannot use a main clause as an object. Also, "rate" is incorrect.) and a slightly lower percentage ( 22% ) of girls took part in swimming. About 7% and 8% of the girls played basketball and tennis respectively which were 2% lower as compared to the boys ~~rate~~. Soccer and athletics had a ~~the~~ similar percentage ( ~~rate~~ 5% ) while martial arts and cricket had less than 4% ~~girls participated~~. The last one, other ~~others unspecific~~ sports, boys participated in are soccer, swimming and cricket wit 25%, 13%, 12% respectively. (That is ungrammatical. I do not understand this sentence. If you are now writing about boys, not girls, make a new paragraph.) Martial arts, tennis and basketball have had the lower values, ~~figures~~ between 11% and 8%. (When you use "between", always put the smallest number first) The ~~others~~ other sports had 18% boys played ~~in 2002~~. (ungrammatical. You missed a relative pronoun.)

This is my writing task 1. Please help me correct it. Thank you so much.

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