This is my writing task 1. Please give me feedback. Thank you so much

Question

The bar graph displays the frequency of how often the USA went to fast-food restaurants from 2003 to 2013.

Overall, the number of people went to convenience-food restaurants once a week and once or twice a month dominated in all three years. A significant small number is accounted for by the percentage of every and never sections.

In once a week category 2006 is the year that had the highest percentage of people with around 33%, and in second place is 2003 then 2013, just over 30% and nearly 27% respectively. In contrast, once or twice a month indicated that 2006 had the lowest number in this section with just 25%, while the highest is in 2013 with just over 33%, and in 2003 relatively unchanged. In several times a week the number varied from 15% to 20%.

The number of people went to a fast-food restaurant everyday highest in 2003 with nearly 5% and only around 3% in both 2006 and 2013, it was relatively similar with never section. A few times a year have the same percentage in 2006 and 2013 with 15% and around 13% in 2003.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post. Click on this link:

Next, tap on the green button "write a new post"

Huy Trần · Answer

The bar graph displays the frequency of how often the USA went to fast-food restaurants from 2003 to 2013.

Overall, the number of people went to convenience-food restaurants once a week and once or twice a month dominated in all three years. A significant small number is accounted for by the percentage of every and never sections.

In once a week category 2006 is the year that had the highest percentage of people with around 33%, and in second place is 2003 then 2013, just over 30% and nearly 27% respectively. In contrast, once or twice a month indicated that 2006 had the lowest number in this section with just 25%, while the highest is in 2013 with just over 33%, and in 2003 relatively unchanged. In several times a week the number varied from 15% to 20%.

The number of people went to a fast-food restaurant everyday highest in 2003 with nearly 5% and only around 3% in both 2006 and 2013, it was relatively similar with never section. A few times a year have the same percentage in 2006 and 2013 with 15% and around 13% in 2003.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The bar graph displays (not a good word choice)t~~he frequency of~~ ("how often" and "frequency" are synonyms. Do not write them together. ) how often the USA (I have never seen my country in a KFC restaurant!) went to fast-food restaurants from 2003 to 2013. (You did not describe this very well. You did not mention the categories of frequency. You did not mention what data was plotted. And countries do not eat anything.)

Overall, the number of people (incorrect. Numbers would be written like 34,762,198 or 32,873 or 528 ) went to convenience-food (incorrect) restaurants once a week and once or twice a month dominated in all three years. Your sentence is not grammatical. You have a main clause "people went to restauratns". This cannot be the object of a preposition. You must review how to write relative clauses.) A significant small (Unnatural. "Significant" is large, not small. Alsoit needs to be an adverb form, not an adjective. ) number is accounted for by the percentage of every and never sections. (That makes no sense. You never mentioned these categories before.)

In once a week category 2006 is the year that had the highest percentage of people with around 33%, and in second place is 2003 then 2013, just over 30% and nearly 27% respectively. In contrast, once or twice a month indicated (incorrect. ) that 2006 had the lowest number in this section with just 25%, while the highest is in 2013 with just over 33%, and in 2003 relatively unchanged. In several times a week the number varied from 15% to 20%.

The number of people went to a fast-food restaurant everyday highest (ungrammatical. "Everyday" is incorrect. It is not one word.) in 2003 with nearly 5% and only around 3% in both 2006 and 2013, it was relatively similar with never section. A few times a year have the same percentage in 2006 and 2013 with 15% and around 13% in 2003.

You have made a good attempt, but you need a lot more practice so you will not make so many mistakes. If you want a sample essay to study, you may ask for one.

This is my writing task 1. Please give me feedback. Thank you so much

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions