This is my passage for ielts test 1 . Please check the grammar, coheson, unity ... thanks very much.

(As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.

What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

There is no doubt that most employees spend a majority of their waking hours in the workplace; moreover, the act of fulfilling responsibilities is a value factor for individual well being. There are many elements providing for workers to enjoy their job, among them, the real-life factor is financial.

There are two main reasons that makeup job satisfaction. One reason is that the workers should be paid an attractive fixed salary. For example, doctors get high paying; as a result, they will take care of patients better. Accordingly, not only doctors are glad but also the patients are so content and come to cure. Money is not everything but without it everything is nothing. In addition, the enthusiasm of what you are doing is equally important. The enthusiasm derives from love for work, for anything you are doing. Actually, I chose to become a doctor because of the empathy of VietNam’s citizens who get suffering and illness. Their happiness and healing are my motivation. Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

In fact, it is truly difficult for doing job without money. Employees have to pay bills, living cost, ,some entertainments, and charity if it left. Many years studied hard at school, your effort must be paid worthily. Actually, the more highly they are paid the more fulfilling job they are getting.

In conclusion, there are many elements that make workers gratification in work. The realistic expectation for all of the emplyees are financial.