This is my new essay about a topic in Cambridge Ielts 14, hope you will help me find my mistakes. Thanks a lot!!

Essay topic: Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music is an essential and important part of our life, just like a colorful puzzle gives this world happiness and joyfulness. Many individuals believe that it takes a leading role in connecting people together and gives them a chance to gain more understanding of each other. In my opinion, I definitely agree with that statement.

First of all, music is a special gift that God gave to everybody around the world, no matter what is their culture or religion. It is a springboard for people to know more about different nations and their cultural identities, in addition. For example, people in Vietnam or other Asia countries can freely enjoy Western music such as US & UK and expand their knowledge about Western culture as well. Furthermore, organizing several music concerts is also an effective way to give individuals from different countries an advantage to express themselves, be exposed to other cultures and transcend barriers to meet and make new friends.

Apart from that benefit, music also narrows the gap between generations. Both teenagers and the elderly can enjoy a song together and so that having a chance to get on with others more easily. Music helps boost our spirit and makes us feel more relaxing, it is also very useful in reducing our stress level in work or study. Therefore, thanks to music, we can be friendlier and behave more comfortably towards others. Furthermore, music is an ideal way to send significant messages about saving the world, fighting against Racism, domestic violence, child abuse or environmental problems such as global warming or greenhouse effects to everybody in every country on the Earth. It connects us together to make common cause to make a better place for our lives.

In conclusion, I believe that music is a wonderful way to heal our world and make us gain insight into each other. It is absolutely the greatest present that God gave to humanity.