This is my Ielts writing task 2. I need some help, please review and remark for me. Thank you so much.

In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer

Some people believe that the middle educational program should be restricted due to the difficulty of finding jobs in the society. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this statement due to its nonsense and unproved prejudices.

To begin with, there are several factors that contributes to my idea. First, secondary educational program provides students dissemination knowledges about practical skills and the build up the perspective for them to choose their career in their future. For example, while integrating in this environment, students can have the deeper insight in both academic and vocational knowledges besides knowing how to do team-work and some essential skills, such as communication and collaboration. Besides that, if they just want to graduate the secondary school without studying in higher level, the leavers will be provided some vocational training by the government. It will support them to climb their career ladder, and also give them more job opportunity.

Likewise, some people might argue that the secondary knowledges are meaningless if they can not find a job. However, in fact, the youngsters are discouraged to access the education that may exacerbate the issue nowadays. Without any necessary foundation, the adolescent generation who just passed the primary education will easily immersed in the vicious circle of the unemployment issue and low-educated, which brings out such a negative effect for the society. No education means no knowledges and skills, that leads to the lack of excellencent workers and blue-collar employments. Finally, the unemployment rates still increasing while the prestigious people are marginally reduced.

In conclusion, I still widely disagree with that statement. Instead of giving the groundless and unjustifiable suggestions, creating more jobs is the way to diversify the job industry and increasing the chances to get a job for young people.