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Park lime 287 Posted 7 years ago
Grammar

This is my essay for ielts writing task 2. Many thanks everyone who fix my error

on the matter of great concern in our contemporary life is aging population. However a central question effect of increasing life expectancy. The objective of essay is to present overview about that and give some effect that could impact on individuals and society. chief among primary effect is that aging population would put economic burden on government by a mount of money for welfare. to be specific, when people live longer, there are more people of retirement age who are eligible to receive pension and it means that working adults will be smaller, the government will receive less money of taxes. it is natural following that there are shortage of money in the national budget. Besides, the authorities also need to improve healthcare facilities to ensure health for elderly people and the fact that young adults will increasingly have to look after old relatives.Further and more importantly, another effect of aging population is lack of accommodation for citizens. if people live longer, the population will be more and more crowded.the government would have not enough area to build nursing home and orphaned and the number of homeless people will increasingly grow up in the future. In order to resolve this worrying trend, there are several actions that government could take to tackle the problem. In the first place, a simple solution would be increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age often have enough health to continue working, which could help government receive more taxes from workers. Another possible way to mitigate the problem is to encourage immigration in order to rise the number of working adults to pay taxes even authorities also encourage women going to work and open more opportunities for them to promote.All things considered, that is a complex matter which can hardly be solved in a short time.However, if we consistently follow the above mentioned measures, it is likely that this problem can be overcome,
  

Top answer

You need to organize this into paragraphs, including an introduction and a conclusion. Have you learned how to do that yet? Clive

  • You need to organize this into paragraphs, including an introduction and a conclusion.
  • Have you learned how to do that yet?
  • Clive
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1 Answers
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You need to organize this into paragraphs, including an introduction and a conclusion.

Have you learned how to do that yet?

Clive

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