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Dishart Posted 13 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
The world passes through my heart...
Here is a short description of my experience in Indian Himalayas followed by photos. I tried to express my feelings in a few sentences but I am not sure that I was able to make it clear for understanding. Please, could you read and verify it. Thank you so much in advance.
"The world passes through both my heart and the objective of the camera, what actually means the same for me. The summer 2011 I spent in one of the most beautiful and isolated places on the Earth – Indian Himalayas. It was extremely difficult but no less amazing trip. Miles and miles in very rarefy and dry air, hundreds of hours in extremely uncomfortable buses on giddy mountain roads, dozens of landslides, death on the passes and widely opened eyes because of extreme beauty of the Himalayas Martian landscapes."
If you are interested, the photos are here: http://dishart.wix.com/photography#!page2/cjg9
Diana
"The world passes through both my heart and the objective of the camera, what actually means the same for me. The summer 2011 I spent in one of the most beautiful and isolated places on the Earth – Indian Himalayas. It was extremely difficult but no less amazing trip. Miles and miles in very rarefy and dry air, hundreds of hours in extremely uncomfortable buses on giddy mountain roads, dozens of landslides, death on the passes and widely opened eyes because of extreme beauty of the Himalayas Martian landscapes."
If you are interested, the photos are here: http://dishart.wix.com/photography#!page2/cjg9
Diana
Top answer
Hi Diana, I enjoyed reading your description of the Himalayas. How interesting! I think your descriptive language is very creative.
- Hi Diana, I enjoyed reading your description of the Himalayas.
- How interesting!
- I think your descriptive language is very creative.
- I have edited your paragraph and made corrections.
- Please see below: "The world passes through both my heart and the objective eye of the camera, which actually is the same for me.
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7 Answers
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Hi Diana,
I enjoyed reading your description of the Himalayas. How interesting! I think your descriptive language is very creative. I have edited your paragraph and made corrections. Please see below:
"The world passes through both my heart and the objective eye of the camera, which actually is the same for me. In 2011, I spent the summer in one of the most beautiful and isolated
I enjoyed reading your description of the Himalayas. How interesting! I think your descriptive language is very creative. I have edited your paragraph and made corrections. Please see below:
"The world passes through both my heart and the objective eye of the camera, which actually is the same for me. In 2011, I spent the summer in one of the most beautiful and isolated
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Hey,
Thank you so much for the corrections. I am surprised to know that most part of my wording stayed the same, because I thought I make it in a wrong way. In Russian I formulate it in a very unusual, creative way, and then I have problems to convey it in other languages =)
By the word "rarefy" I was wanted to describe the state of atmosphere with very low oxygen concentration and lo
Thank you so much for the corrections. I am surprised to know that most part of my wording stayed the same, because I thought I make it in a wrong way. In Russian I formulate it in a very unusual, creative way, and then I have problems to convey it in other languages =)
By the word "rarefy" I was wanted to describe the state of atmosphere with very low oxygen concentration and lo
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Hi Dishart,
I understand how difficult it must be to convey the same sense of creativity through a language that is not your native tongue, but you did a really good job with it. The atmosphere that you describe, in English, we would call "thin air". Meaning that at high altitudes, the air gets very thin due to low oxygen levels, and people have difficulty breathing. Another analogy that you c
I understand how difficult it must be to convey the same sense of creativity through a language that is not your native tongue, but you did a really good job with it. The atmosphere that you describe, in English, we would call "thin air". Meaning that at high altitudes, the air gets very thin due to low oxygen levels, and people have difficulty breathing. Another analogy that you c
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Oh, and I do apologize... I looked up "rarefy" in another dictionary and it is indeed an English word. It is used as a verb though, so in the context of your writing, it wouldn't really be correct. I actually learned something new too!
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Hi (again) Dishart,
I couldn't stop thinking about this one! You could still use the verb "rarefy" to describe the air, if you use it in the past participle form, thus making it an adjective. The adjective form would be "rarefied". I think this would be an excellent choice in keeping with your original intent.
I couldn't stop thinking about this one! You could still use the verb "rarefy" to describe the air, if you use it in the past participle form, thus making it an adjective. The adjective form would be "rarefied". I think this would be an excellent choice in keeping with your original intent.
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Ah, well, okay! Interesting to know it. Thank you so much for your explanations and help! =))))))) You came really in good time 
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