The suggested revision

A person presented the suggested revision for me:

Excessive dringking of soda may be bad for the teeth.

Do you agree the suggested revision?

My grammar book presented two types :

1. Drinking soda excessively may be bad for the teeth.

2. Excessive drinking of soda may be bad for the teeth.

I'm being sure they both are correct in common with these:

Understanding English Grammar (10th Edition)

Exercise book for Understanding English Grammar

This qualitative study aims to address the current understanding of English language...

People with excellent English ability and a deep understanding of English language and...