First, Munchun, if you are going to post these long passages, please proofread. It is difficult to follow your precise problem if there are a lot of typos, etc. Let me just re-write this thing first, with what I feel is the expected grammar, and then I'll try to answer your questions: 'If I were a man, and if I were in Jason's situation where my wife is/was leaving me for another man, I would break down.
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