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Anonymous Posted 7 years ago
Grammar

The School

Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

A doctor named Amy awakens to find herself in an abandoned old school, where she is then taken prisoner by Zac and his group of feral children. She is determined to get out of there so she can find her own son, so she sets out to escape with the help of Timmy and Becky, two children she has unwillingly become a surrogate mother to. She then learns the truth behind Zac's existence and the terror that keeps the children enslaved there.

  

Top answer

Good writing! Here are a few suggested edits. A doctor named Amy awakens to find herself in an old abandoned old school, where she is then taken prisoner by Zac and his group of feral children.

  • Good writing!
  • Here are a few suggested edits.
  • A doctor named Amy awakens to find herself in an old abandoned old school, where she is then taken prisoner by Zac and his group of feral children.
  • She is determined to get out of there so that she can find her own son, so she sets out to escape with the help of Timmy and Becky, two children she has unwillingly become a surrogate mother to.
  • She then learns the truth behind Zac's existence and the terror that keeps the children enslaved there.
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2 Answers
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Good writing! Here are a few suggested edits.


A doctor named Amy awakens to find herself in an old abandoned old school, where she is then taken prisoner by Zac and his group of feral children. She is determined to get out of there so that she can find her own son, so she sets out to escape with the help of Timmy and Becky, two children she has unwill

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I would think she had already been taken prisoner before awakening to find herself in the old abandoned school.

A doctor named Amy awakens to find herself in an abandoned old school, where she is held prisoner by Zac and his group of feral children.

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