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FlyinDutch Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
The right voting age
Hey guys,
I wrote an essay about "the right voting age" and was wondering if you are able to find any grammatical mistakes in it. I'd be very very very grateful if someone took the time to read this and correct it if needed.
If the voting age were to be lowered to 16 in Sweden it would probably cause a major political disaster. The reason for this is, simply, the fact that people of 16 years old aren't yet fully educated nor do they know enough about (practical) political and economical issues. Of course, most 16-year-olds will have learned the basics of the political system in Sweden, especially if the current method of education stays the same, but it is far not sufficient enough for the pupil to be able to choose a person who represents his or her thoughts.
Young people, who have little or no work experience, usually have completely different views on national politics than older people, who got a full-time job, a family to take care of, a mortgage and who pay their own bills and taxes. This can be explained by the fact that people under 18 aren't taught enough about practical things in life. They live at home, their parents pay the bills and work full-time, while the child is attending school every day and living his or her own life, separated from national politics. Additionally, the things they learn at school are mostly theoretical things and do not really teach them what "real life" is like.
Because of this it would be very inappropriate to let 16-year-olds vote. It would be better to raise the voting age back to 20, since older people usually have more experience regarding politics.
Thanks guys
I wrote an essay about "the right voting age" and was wondering if you are able to find any grammatical mistakes in it. I'd be very very very grateful if someone took the time to read this and correct it if needed.
If the voting age were to be lowered to 16 in Sweden it would probably cause a major political disaster. The reason for this is, simply, the fact that people of 16 years old aren't yet fully educated nor do they know enough about (practical) political and economical issues. Of course, most 16-year-olds will have learned the basics of the political system in Sweden, especially if the current method of education stays the same, but it is far not sufficient enough for the pupil to be able to choose a person who represents his or her thoughts.
Young people, who have little or no work experience, usually have completely different views on national politics than older people, who got a full-time job, a family to take care of, a mortgage and who pay their own bills and taxes. This can be explained by the fact that people under 18 aren't taught enough about practical things in life. They live at home, their parents pay the bills and work full-time, while the child is attending school every day and living his or her own life, separated from national politics. Additionally, the things they learn at school are mostly theoretical things and do not really teach them what "real life" is like.
Because of this it would be very inappropriate to let 16-year-olds vote. It would be better to raise the voting age back to 20, since older people usually have more experience regarding politics.
Thanks guys
Top answer
If the voting age were to be lowered to 16 in Sweden it would probably cause a major political disaster. ) aren't yet fully educated nor do they know enough about (practical) political and economical issues. Of course, most 16-year-olds will have learned the basics of the political system in Sweden, especially if the current method of education stays the same, but it is by far not sufficient enough for the pupil (matter of style - you switch to singular, having used plural consistently elsewhere) to be able to choose a person who represents his or her thoughts.
- If the voting age were to be lowered to 16 in Sweden it would probably cause a major political disaster.
- ) aren't yet fully educated nor do they know enough about (practical) political and economical issues.
- Of course, most 16-year-olds will have learned the basics of the political system in Sweden, especially if the current method of education stays the same, but it is by far not sufficient enough for the pupil (matter of style - you switch to singular, having used plural consistently elsewhere) to be able to choose a person who represents his or her thoughts.
- Young people, who have little or no work experience, usually have completely different views on national politics than older people, who have got a full-time job, a family to take care of, a mortgage and who pay their own bills and taxes.
- This can be explained by the fact that people under 18 aren't taught enough about practical things in life.
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2 Answers
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If the voting age were to be lowered to 16 in Sweden it would probably cause a major political disaster. The reason for this is, simply, the fact that people of 16 years old (just say "16-year-olds" or "16-year-old people" .) aren't yet fully educated nor do they know enough about (practical) political and economical issues. Of course, most 16-year-olds will have learned the basics of the p
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Thanks! I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to read and correct it.
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