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Anita_a Posted 21 years ago

The Red Colour

The horrific red color

In a terror filled soul;

Tracing the fatal lines

Of departed kith and kin.

Remembering the terrifying faces

Choked up in boxes

Crying for salvation,

And immortal peace.
  

Top answer

Wow good poetry by minu

  • Wow good poetry by minu
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5 Answers
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Wow good poetry by minu
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That's an interesting one, Anita. It would read well without any punctuation. Or you might end it with a –
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Thanks Minu.

Thanks Mr.P. U mean something like this?-

The horrific red color

In a terror filled soul

Tracing the fatal lines

Of departed kith and kin

Remembering the terrifying faces

Choked up in boxes

Crying for salvation

And immortal peace

or, like this...

The horrific red color

In a terr
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I think the first version. Punctuation draws your attention to the lack of a main verb; while an absence of punctuation increases the ambiguity.

But that's only my view!

I like 'the horrific red color'. It's a very strange phrase. Also the faces in their boxes.

MrP
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Thanks for your help Mr. P. Your view is appreciated and implimented.Emotion: smileI am glad that you liked it.

The horrific red color

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