"the question that arises here, is:"

Question

Hi, I had a paper of mine proofread by an editor, but I'm not sure if I should keep this correction:

Original sentence

However, here arises the question: do we really need to assume the second lexical entry?

Edited sentence

However, the question that arises here, is: Do we really need to assume the second lexical entry?

I don't think I've ever seen a sentence like this. Do you think this reads more smoothly than the original version?

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The first is dramatic and emotional; the second is analytical and objective.

Clive · Answer

I find the use of direct speech in the second part of the sentence a little awkward.

I prefer this.

However, here arises the question: of whether we really need to assume the second lexical entry.

However, the question that arises here is whether we really need to assume the second lexical entry.

Of course, you could also simply put the direct speech in quotation marks, but that still seems a bit awkward to me, and less stylish.

Clive

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