The plans show the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012.

Question

The plans show the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012.The picture shows the transformation of the theatre from 2010 to 2012.In general, the theatre experienced numerous changes related to the size of the buiding. It was expanded and added more new facilities like restaurants, showers. In front of the auditorium,it was expanded from 2010 to 2012. The main entrance was maintained during 2 years 2010 to 2012 while the cafe and ticket office were replaced by the new ticket office and restaurants, respectively. The admin office was moved further north near the auditorium in 2012.Moving to the stage and its surroundings, the auditorium did not change in the time period which was mentioned. On the other hand, the stage was expanded while the media was replaced by the hall. The storage was moved to the right side of the stage while the new media and showers were built on the left of the stage.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The picture (Not a good word choice. This is a layout or diagram.) shows the transformation (Not a good word choice. A transformation means that it was changed from a theater to a school, a theater to a community center or a theater to a museum. Transformation is a complete change, not just a few modifications.) of the theatre from 2010 to 2012.

In general, the theatre experienced (Poor word choice. People have a good experience when they go to the theater. Buildings do not have experiences.) numerous changes (There was only one size change, not many) related to the size of the buiding. (spelling) It was expanded and added (wrong verb form) more new facilities like restaurants, showers. (ungrammatical series. Missing conjunction)

You make this grammatical error a lot. Learn how to write lists of things correctly

restaurants
showers
incorrect: restaurants, showers
correct: restaurants and showers
incorrect: restaurants, seating, showers
correct restaurants, seating and showers
correct: restaurants and seating but not showers or storage

Rule: when you have a list of more than one thing, you must use a conjunction.

The exception is an adjective phrase which is modifying a noun. Even in these lists, a conjunction may be necessary.

I love the scent of beautiful, old slightly-used (and) newly-washed clothes.

In The front of the auditorium,it was expanded ~~from 2010 to 2012~~. (Do not repeat. You already gave the two years in the opening paragraph.) The main entrance was maintained (Wrong verb. That means that they kept making small repairs.) ~~during 2 years 2010 to 2012~~ while the cafe and ticket office were replaced by the new ticket office and restaurants, respectively. The admin office was moved further north (There are no compass directions indicated on the layout. The main entrance could be from the east, west, north or south. These directions are for maps, where the convention is north at the top. Th interior of buildings do not use compass directions.) near the auditorium in 2012. (Reporting error. How do you know this? It could have been 2011, right?)

~~Moving to the stage and its surroundings,~~ (We are not walking in that place, are we?) the auditorium did not change ~~in the time period which was mentioned~~. (Repetitive. Also mentioned is not a good word for these essays. Do not use it.) ~~On the other hand,~~ But /in contrast / However the stage was expanded while the media (The media is newspapers and television. ) was replaced by the hall. The storage was moved to the right side of the stage while the new media and showers were built on the left of the stage.

The plans show the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012.

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