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Mr. Tom Posted 6 years ago
Vocabulary

The open book on the table irked him.

Hi

Are these lines natural? Is the register OK?

The open book on the table irked him and his head throbbed. The pages flew constantly in the wind rushing in from the window. He tried to call the attendant but his voice was too weak. The hall outside was fully quiet. Then suddenly the wind died down and the book got still. He closed his eyes and breathed his last.

Thanks,

Tom

  

Top answer

It is rather choppy. THe text does not flow smoothly. The pages flew constantly = there were loose pages from the book that were blown about the room.

— AlpheccaStars

  • It is rather choppy.
  • THe text does not flow smoothly.
  • The pages flew constantly = there were loose pages from the book that were blown about the room.
  • They were torn out from the book.
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2 Answers
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It is rather choppy. THe text does not flow smoothly.

The pages flew constantly = there were loose pages from the book that were blown about the room. They were torn out from the book.

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Mr. TomThe open book on the table irked him and his head throbbed. The pages flew constantly in the wind rushing in from the window. He tried to call the attendant but his voice was too weak. The hall outside was fully quiet. Then suddenly the wind died down and the book got still. He closed his eyes and breathed his last.

My version of your target sentence

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