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LeGion12359 Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

The most unforgettable day of my life

Teachers! Could you please check this essay for me and grade it out of 10? I wrote it myself, first time in my life without using a rote learning technique. There was a time constrain of 40 minutes for this. By the way, I know for sure that i am poor at writing and I am working on it, so most probably your critical comments will be really beneficial to me.

It was about a time when I was in 9th grade. I was having a conversation with my friend on 'Computer Games'. We often used to talk about their genre, animation and configuration. In the middle of our conversation, I took out a packet of sweetened betel nut and began to chew. It was really a bad habit of mine to chew that thing often after a meal, I always wanted to nip that habit in the bud,but I was addicted to it. I didn't know that it would change my life in a matter of minutes.

I was constantly talking while chewing it then all of a sudden It stuck in my throat, It was choking and my friend was shouting like 'What happened!', 'What happened!'. I immediately went to my home and drank a glass of water to get it out of my throat. My throat was free now and I could breathe again. However, there was still a feeling that It's still in my throat. I was so much terrified by the event that I couldn't sleep though out the night.

That event was a total bad luck for me,subsequently I was ill for a period of three months.But, I thanked God and made a promise to myself that i would never eat that injurious thing again in my life.
  

Top answer

LeGion12359 I wrote it myself, first time in my life without using a rote learning technique. I wrote it myself, the first time in my life without using a rote learning technique. LeGion12359 There was a time constrain of 40 minutes for this.

— Anonymous

  • LeGion12359 I wrote it myself, first time in my life without using a rote learning technique.
  • I wrote it myself, the first time in my life without using a rote learning technique.
  • LeGion12359 There was a time constrain of 40 minutes for this.
  • There was a time constrain t of 40 minutes for this.
  • LeGion12359 By the way, I know for sure that i am poor at writing By the way, I know for sure that I am poor at writing
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8 Answers
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LeGion12359I wrote it myself, first time in my life without using a rote learning technique.
I wrote it myself, the first time in my life without using a rote learning technique.
LeGion12359There was a time constrain of 40 minutes for this.
There was a time constraint of 40 m
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AnonymousLeGion12359I wrote it myself, first time in my life without using a rote learning technique.I wrote it myself, the first time in my life without using a rote learning technique.LeGion12359There was a time constrain of 40 minutes for this.There was a time constraint of 40 minutes for this.LeGion12359By the way, I know for sure that i am poor at writingBy the way,
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LeGion12359But why you didn't grade the Essay?
This particular anonymous user has a habit of commenting only on the way a poster asks a question.
They never answer the actual question itself. This seems very rude to me. What is your opinion?
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It was (Better: This story is) about a time when I was in 9th grade. I was having a conversation with my friend on the topic of 'Computer Games'. We often used to talk about their genre, animation and configuration. In the middle of our conversation, I took out a packet of sweetened betel nut and began to chew. It was really a bad habit of mine to chew that thing (Bet
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AlpheccaStarsThis particular anonymous user has a habit of commenting only on the way a poster asks a question.They never answer the actual question itself. This seems very rude to me. What is your opinion?
Frankly speaking, It was really disappointing. First time I posted this Essay one week earlier,but no body replied to it. Then ,I finally managed to re-pos
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AlpheccaStarsIt is a very good story for an intermediate learner. The vocabulary is very good and idiomatic. However, the sentence structure needs a bit of work. Be careful of the comma splice.
First of all, Thank you so much Ma'am for replying. I am so much delighted that you,one of the finest teacher in this forum, eventually replied to my post. Wow! 8 or 9
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LeGion12359 I am really poor at Punctuation
Sorry, I had to chuckle at that example, LeGion.
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LeGion12359I appreciate your comments and will try my best to improve effectively if *** wills.
Thank you.
In my experience, for the avid and serious student, *** has always been willing to observe improvement, and the greater, the better.
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