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Usenet Posted 18 years ago
Screenwriting

The Most Horrifying Movie Ever Made

If you have Tivo just freeze the Texas Cult Dunkard women walking out of the van and into the courthouse. Add your own LaFonataine caption.

V.O.
When Law Enforcement raided a Texas Compound..
Thats as far as I can get until I have to pop my Tingler back into the socket. I mean just imagine getting lost in Texas and crashing your car, and you wake up inside that! Its like Misery meets Back to the Future meets I dont even wanna know.
Here is where Skip will tell me Im a satonic loser for bashing religion because I'm a miserable stoner secularist or something like that. My point is, those people hate me right? They think Im the devil and I'm trash that I'm going to hell. Fine. They arent alone, but can I please respond? Or do I just gotta take it when I get downgraded by people of faith. Is faith off limits? I'm just sayin'

Back to the Cult Women. I don't understand. Part of me wants to call my friend at the Style Channel and pitch a makeover show for Dunkards... Liz Hasslebeck, some swishy stylists, and we turn the Dunkards into DILFs. No? I pitched Retard Makeover, but Special ESPN wasn't interested.
Seriously though, that Judy Greer movie... was it M. Knight? That thing has got nothing on Fox News in terms of absolute horror. Its like that Sci Fi original movie Ogre that we were talking about a few weeks ago, only way more Dunkard!
In closing, where do I buy a lapel flag?
Oranse
http://www.dailyoranse.com
  

Top answer

[nq:1]If you have Tivo just freeze the Texas Cult Dunkard women walking out of the van and into the courthouse. [/nq] But I pause channel flipping just long enough to hear one crazed fox reactionary suggest that it was a fake call from out of state that triggered the raid. If that's true, 400 cases of false arrest (false something) may be a windfall for Texas defense lawyers for years to come.

  • [nq:1]If you have Tivo just freeze the Texas Cult Dunkard women walking out of the van and into the courthouse.
  • [/nq] But I pause channel flipping just long enough to hear one crazed fox reactionary suggest that it was a fake call from out of state that triggered the raid.
  • If that's true, 400 cases of false arrest (false something) may be a windfall for Texas defense lawyers for years to come.
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7 Answers
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[nq:1]If you have Tivo just freeze the Texas Cult Dunkard women walking out of the van and into the courthouse. Add your own LaFonataine caption.[/nq]
But I pause channel flipping just long enough to hear one crazed fox reactionary suggest that it was a fake call from out of state that triggered the raid. If that's true, 400 cases of false arrest (false something) may be a windfall for Texas d
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[nq:2]If you have Tivo just freeze the Texas Cult Dunkard women walking out of the van and into the courthouse. Add your own LaFonataine caption.[/nq]
[nq:1]But I pause channel flipping just long enough to hear one crazed fox reactionary suggest that it was a fake ... true, 400 cases of false arrest (false something) may be a windfall for Texas defense lawyers for years to come.[/nq]
It wa
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(snips)
[nq:1]But let's not kid anybody Texas authorities were looking for an excuse to raid that compound...[/nq]
According to my friend who's written a book and hosted a British documentary on the Jeffs cult, the public policy issue is dollars and cents. The polygamy, forced marriages, sexual abuse are all frosting for the media.

Since 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. wives are not recognize
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Look, I think the mid-40s husband on the news who said, "Hey, isn't marrying a 14 year old legal in Texas?" may have some issues... and the whole deal with these women as practically slaves is just wrong...

But why the heck is so much manpower used to stop people with strange religions in a country founded on religious freedom?

Government seems to want to close down anyone with a
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[nq:1]Look, I think the mid-40s husband on the news who said, "Hey, isn't marrying a 14 year old legal in ... the heck is so much manpower used to stop people with strange religions in a country founded on religious freedom?[/nq]
Because they know that you are secretly the grand poobah behind it all, funded by Jenna Jameson of Stripper Zombies, and they are working their way toward you, slowly
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[nq:1]Look, I think the mid-40s husband on the news who said, "Hey, isn't marrying a 14 year old legal in ... founded on freedom, not repression. - Bill (any polygomy fantasy I might have had ended when I saw the wives)[/nq]
Four words, Bill: It's for the children. (5 words if u don't contract.)

The Peripatetic Samurai Robot
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[nq:1]Look, I think the mid-40s husband on the news who said, "Hey, isn't marrying a 14 year old legal in ... the heck is so much manpower used to stop people with strange religions in a country founded on religious freedom?[/nq]
I think Jeri Jo's got it nailed. Religion is pretty much up for grabs so long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, and where faiths like 7th Day Adventists are

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