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Zizoo Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

The life I want

THE FOLLOWING IS MY FREE WRITTING, WHO WOULD YOU PLEASE CORRECT FOR ME, THANKS.

PART 1

Please give me a horse

I will go with it to the North

Do not tell me where is the end

I just want to hold someone’s hand



Please give me a cup of beer

Bring it come here

Let us play with the deer



Do you want to come with me

I do not care you are she or he

You can wait for me under the tree

Then we will share the same cup of tea



Where can we go

Do not be slow

I want to walk only with the toe



Be more beautiful

Be more careful

Then we can be the successful



PART 2

Please give me a flower

I will put in on the top of my tower

I also want to have the magic power

Everyday I need to see the shower



Please give me some toys

Let me have some choice

Then I can made some voice



I want to be a bird

Every day I can fly in the sky

Do not be shy

Just have a try



I want to be a fish

Ever I will become a dish

I can have my freedom until my life finish



Be beauty

Be sexy

Then we can be the pretty



PART 3

Please give me a hill

I will hike and never be ill

Just bite of my gill

I do not need any bill



Please give me a book

I want to read the joke in it

Or another can teach me cook



Can stay with me forever

I can follow your step

I can put my kiss on your lip



Maybe we can have a sheep

White and cute

Do not feel it stupid

Just be proud of my happy spirit



The life I want

Just the flowers I count

You like the cat

I like the rat

At last we look after a bat
  

Top answer

There is no way to correct 'free writing', which is a ridiculous exercise. If you would like to start writing serious compositions, please post them here and we will review them.

  • There is no way to correct 'free writing', which is a ridiculous exercise.
  • If you would like to start writing serious compositions, please post them here and we will review them.
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2 Answers
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There is no way to correct 'free writing', which is a ridiculous exercise. If you would like to start writing serious compositions, please post them here and we will review them.
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OK! I will post my serious writing later on. Thank you for your suggestions.

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