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Madeleine Lamou Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

The information I have to put on my website

Hello everyone!
Below is the information I have to put on my website. I'm not sure about the grammar and whether the words I use sound natural. So if anybody could check and correct this piece of writing I'd be really grateful Emotion: smile
Thanks

Our bijouterie is designed to be something special, unique, yet simple and affordable.
Forms and structures of the natural world and clean lines of geometrical figures are our inspirations. We love to take some shape as a basis - it might be a leaf, a twig, a bare tree, a circle, a rectangle or just a long line - and then we follow our imagination letting the form transform itself into something sometimes unexpected. We also like mixing old with new, traditional with contemporary.
Since we are a small company and don't produce jewellery in large quantities, we don't have our own factory. Therefore we don't need to pay for large facilities and massive manual labour. Instead we cooperate with a fair-trade manufacture that makes components for our jewellery using quality but inexpensive raw materials such as brass, steel, pewter and silver. We maintain thorough quality control of both the raw materials an the finished components. Our products are non-allergenic, tarnish resistant, nickel and lead free.
In the final stages of production, each piece of jewellery is handcrafted with warm care and attention to every detail.
We try to bring to our collections simplicity, delicacy and elegance, the poetic mood and a touch of humor. And we hope you find the items that will suit your style and make you smile.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas, Madelaine: Our bijouterie is designed to be something special, unique, yet simple and affordable. Forms and structures of the natural world and clean lines of geometrical figures are our inspirations. We love to take some shape as a basis - it might be a leaf, a twig, a bare tree, a circle, a rectangle or just a long line - and then we follow our imagination letting the form transform itself into something sometimes unexpected.

  • I have underlined some problem areas, Madelaine: Our bijouterie is designed to be something special, unique, yet simple and affordable.
  • Forms and structures of the natural world and clean lines of geometrical figures are our inspirations.
  • We love to take some shape as a basis - it might be a leaf, a twig, a bare tree, a circle, a rectangle or just a long line - and then we follow our imagination letting the form transform itself into something sometimes unexpected.
  • We also like mixing old with new, traditional with contemporary.
  • Since we are a small company and don't produce jewellery in large quantities, we don't have our own factory.
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7 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas, Madelaine:


Our bijouterie is designed to be something special, unique, yet simple and affordable.
Forms and structures of the natural world and clean lines of geometrical figures are our inspirations. We love to take some shape as a basis - it might be a leaf, a twig, a bare tree, a circle, a rectangle or just a long li
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Hi Mister Micawber!
Thank you so much, but could you suggest some alternatives?
For example:

1. When you underline the words 'special, unique' what do you mean? Should I use some other words instead of them? Or do they sound unnatural only if used together?

2. Would it be better if I write so
'then we follow our imagination and let the form transform
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I've just noticed you're an English teacher. So maybe I've asked too many questions and didn't pay for the answers, sorry )
Actually I'm looking for someone who could improve my English and correct my pieces of writing. I'm going to write quite a lot of articles for my website and some other things. And you seem to be just the person I'm looking for. I'd be happy If you can give me email less
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Hello, Madelaine,

My contact details for private work is in my profile. As for your questions above:

1. When you underline the words 'special, unique' what do you mean? Should I use some other words instead of them? Or do they sound unnatural only if used together?-- The structuring is awkward. Use this: something special and unique, yet simple and afford
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Thank you, Mister Micawber Emotion: smile
I've sent you an email.

And I've got two more questions regarding this writing:
1. Is t
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1. Is this sentance ok or is it too long?-- It can and should be shorter and more direct:

'We produce fine jewellery in small quantities, cooperating with a fair-trade manufacturer of components in high quality, low cost materials such as brass, steel, pewter and silver.'

2. 'a poetic mood' - actually I don't like it myself. But I can't think of the right ph

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