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LouiST Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
The importance of money
My teacher made us write a little essay about 'The importance of ...." and I chose 'of money'. So I wrote, and would be VERY glad if a person who knows English well correct it. I know I may be expecting a lot, but it's important not to have many mistakes. Also the writing style.... Actually it's not a hard text to correct, because my English writing is very simple. So... I would be very glad!
I hope somebody could do this... Last time it was ignored^^ But I would really be grateful
The importance of money
Not only the worth of money has changed, also the importance. The importance of money has become so important for live, that you could not survive without it. You could not even buy something to eat. You would end up being a poor homeless person. Even if you try harmonizing with the nature to survive, it would be almost impossible nowadays, expect you would be living in a tribe. Tribes have learned to live naturally and have adapted to the nature, while industry countries have invented artificial stuff for everything. Money is one of the most important things in our lives. Even if we haven’t noticed yet, living without it would be literally inconceivable. What makes money that popular, though?
Nowadays you need money for your whole life; for clothes, for food, for a shelter and even water costs. You may know the proverb ‘Money doesn’t bring happiness’. It’s very controversial. Half says it is wrong, the other says it is true. But would you be happy without any penny? Since money is a large part of our life, you need at least little money to be happy.
Another important point is for education. School here may be gratis, with money you are able to afford for example a private school or extra help, though. Also if your parents work in a good company, they may be able to get you a good apprenticeship.
Money has caused many problems, though. Thus, I think it would be good to share out the money better. That’s very difficult, because then, I think, there would be a commercial crisis. Whereas, our state could produce more money and donate it to Third World Countries. There wouldn’t be that much poverty, then.
Nowadays poverty exists all over the world and it is increasing more and more. Many people have lost their jobs because of money. For example new machines have been invented and do now the work, which a person used to do. All because the company had enough money, and they want to produce as reasonably as possible.
I think you don’t have to have bulky money, but at least enough to buy food and be happy and to be on the safe side; for example being able to pay taxes. But even that little money a lot of people don’t have.
All in all I now see even better, that money is really important. I have also seen that money will always cause problems. I guess the importance of money keeps on rising. To be honest, I have been wanting to become a person with a lot of money. Not only because I think money brings happiness, also because I want to be on the safe side. Also, I want my children to have a good chance for life. I want them to be able to reach something in life.
Who knows, what ‘money’ will be in 50 years.
Two more things:
1) I'm not sure if I should add this sentence:
I happened to see a TV show where some people are trying a life without money. That’s why I decided to research that topic a little.
If so, this would be the first sentence, and is followed by: Not only the worth .......
2) Should the title be: The importance of money or The Importance Of Money ?
THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!
Louis
I hope somebody could do this... Last time it was ignored^^ But I would really be grateful
The importance of money
Not only the worth of money has changed, also the importance. The importance of money has become so important for live, that you could not survive without it. You could not even buy something to eat. You would end up being a poor homeless person. Even if you try harmonizing with the nature to survive, it would be almost impossible nowadays, expect you would be living in a tribe. Tribes have learned to live naturally and have adapted to the nature, while industry countries have invented artificial stuff for everything. Money is one of the most important things in our lives. Even if we haven’t noticed yet, living without it would be literally inconceivable. What makes money that popular, though?
Nowadays you need money for your whole life; for clothes, for food, for a shelter and even water costs. You may know the proverb ‘Money doesn’t bring happiness’. It’s very controversial. Half says it is wrong, the other says it is true. But would you be happy without any penny? Since money is a large part of our life, you need at least little money to be happy.
Another important point is for education. School here may be gratis, with money you are able to afford for example a private school or extra help, though. Also if your parents work in a good company, they may be able to get you a good apprenticeship.
Money has caused many problems, though. Thus, I think it would be good to share out the money better. That’s very difficult, because then, I think, there would be a commercial crisis. Whereas, our state could produce more money and donate it to Third World Countries. There wouldn’t be that much poverty, then.
Nowadays poverty exists all over the world and it is increasing more and more. Many people have lost their jobs because of money. For example new machines have been invented and do now the work, which a person used to do. All because the company had enough money, and they want to produce as reasonably as possible.
I think you don’t have to have bulky money, but at least enough to buy food and be happy and to be on the safe side; for example being able to pay taxes. But even that little money a lot of people don’t have.
All in all I now see even better, that money is really important. I have also seen that money will always cause problems. I guess the importance of money keeps on rising. To be honest, I have been wanting to become a person with a lot of money. Not only because I think money brings happiness, also because I want to be on the safe side. Also, I want my children to have a good chance for life. I want them to be able to reach something in life.
Who knows, what ‘money’ will be in 50 years.
Two more things:
1) I'm not sure if I should add this sentence:
I happened to see a TV show where some people are trying a life without money. That’s why I decided to research that topic a little.
If so, this would be the first sentence, and is followed by: Not only the worth .......
2) Should the title be: The importance of money or The Importance Of Money ?
THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!
Louis
Top answer
I can give you a few suggestions, but I am a bit short of time. Not only the worth of money has changed, also the importance. I don't know what you mean.
- I can give you a few suggestions, but I am a bit short of time.
- Not only the worth of money has changed, also the importance.
- I don't know what you mean.
- For example, take a coin worth 1 Euro.
- It was worth 1 euro last year, it will be 1 euro next year.
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27 Answers
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I can give you a few suggestions, but I am a bit short of time.
Not only the worth of money has changed, also the importance.
I don't know what you mean.
For example, take a coin worth 1 Euro. It was worth 1 euro last year, it will be 1 euro next year. Are you talking about inflation or deflation? The "worth of money" and what makes it change would be an interesting subject
Not only the worth of money has changed, also the importance.
I don't know what you mean.
For example, take a coin worth 1 Euro. It was worth 1 euro last year, it will be 1 euro next year. Are you talking about inflation or deflation? The "worth of money" and what makes it change would be an interesting subject
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Hi AlphaStars,
Thank you!
Thank you!
AlpheccaStarsNot only the worth of money has changed, also the importance.I d
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AlpheccaStarsThe "worth of money" and what makes it change would be an interesting subject to discuss..What do you mean now? Do you mean the change of the worth (like 1 euro last year - 1.20 now) or do you mean the same that I meant above?
I meant inflation and deflation.
For example, after World War I, less than 100 years ago, there was a
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Hi AlpheccaStars,
Sorry for not replaying.
I just wanted to say thank you!!!! I rewrote my essay and handed it over to my teacher few days ago. I tried to rewrite it with your comments and with the topics you had given me.
So I'll see how it turns out
Sorry for not replaying.
I just wanted to say thank you!!!! I rewrote my essay and handed it over to my teacher few days ago. I tried to rewrite it with your comments and with the topics you had given me.
So I'll see how it turns out
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hello i was tying to find an essay on the topic the importance of money so i was reading some examples. i read your essay and i must say i couldn't catch what you were trying to say exactly and also the essay was not what i expected it would be. but still thank you and i am sure if it was me who had to write this essay it would be far worse than this. <3
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it would hv been better if u chose this heading "money is the root of all evil" ur ephasy in the essay is more realted to it since well you spoke a lot of how money is being a problem,that could lead to it as being the root of all evil under the sercumstances you have mentioned
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dude!! your speech is really awsome > it helped me a lot! i couldnt believe i could win the competiton but i won the first prize its just because of you!! dude thank you , i copied the same speech you wrote my teachers appreciated it! thanks once again....
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I can't believe that you are pleased that you used somebody else's work to win a prize, depriving others who may have worked hard and honestly of their chance of recognition.
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