The graph below shows information about the activities that Australian and New Zeleand children enjoy doing the most in 2007

Question

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of youth’s favorite pursuits in two nations in 2007. Overall, the children in Australia spent more time in outdoor activities, while New Zeleander were supposed to prefer indoor activities.

There are approximately 28% of playing sports, which activity was mostly loved by Australian. Next, more than 10% of Australians are delighted in visiting parks. The third most popular hobbies were DVDs and playing computer games, which both are equal at 15%. The least pursuits were reading book, and art and craft, which accounted for about 10% and nearly 8%, respectively.

With regard to New Zeleanders, the highest rate of children prefer art and craft, up to 25%. The following activities were books and watching videos, which both accounted for about 17%. A quarter of young people enjoyed playing computer games. The least popular were going to the park and sport roughly at 13%.

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

nhatha1603: The graph below shows information about the activities that Australian and New Zeleand children enjoy doing the most in 2007

There are problems with this task. There is no information about the activities themselves. There is a spelling error. Are you sure you copied this correctly?

The bar chart illustrates (wrong word. Read my advice) the percentage of youth’s favorite pursuits (That is not good. What is a percentage of a pursuit? Like 25% of a football game? Or watching a TV program only halfway?) in two nations (Just name the countries) in 2007. (Your paragraph topic has changed from describing the figure to presenting the main features. When the topic changes, you must start a new paragraph.) Overall, the children in Australia spent more time (That means hours per week or some other measure of time. There are no time measures in this chart, are there?) in outdoor activities, while New Zeleander were supposed to (The should have preferred indoor activities? There are no "should have" activities on this figure.) prefer indoor activities.

You did not do a very adequate job of telling the reader what this figure shows. Read my advice for Task 1 essays - how to organize the paragraphs, misused vocabulary words, and how to write the opening paragraph. It takes a lot of practice to write Task 1; you can improve a lot. You need to focus more on comparisons.

There are approximately 28% of playing sports, (That is not good English) which activity (ungrammatical) was mostly loved by Australian. ( "Australian" is the wrong form. ) Next, more than 10% of Australians are delighted in (wrong form) visiting parks. The third most popular hobbies were DVDs and playing computer games, which both are equal at 15%. The ~~least pursuits~~ (wrong expression) pursuits with the least participation were reading book, (wrong form) and art and craft, which accounted for about 10% and nearly 8%, respectively.

With regard to New Zeleanders, the highest rate Wrong word. Read my advice. Rate is NOT the same as percentage.) of children prefer (over what?) art and craft, up to (wrong preposition) 25%. The following activities (wrong expression) were books and watching videos, which both accounted for about 17%. A quarter of young people enjoyed playing computer games. The least popular activities were going to the park and sport roughly at 13%.

The graph below shows information about the activities that Australian and New Zeleand children enjoy doing the most in 2007

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