The first chapter of novel in Hemingway’s style. Please, help me!!!

1span00Hello, all! It’s my first post here. I’m Russian writer or maybe I think that I am a writer. In any case I published some poems, some stories and two novels in Russian newspapers and magazines, but it didn’t make me famous or rich. I am learning English today. Now I am posting here the first chapter of my novel. It was published in Russia (surely, in Russian language). At the beginning of next week I’ll have to show the first chapter to a publisher. But my English isn’t as good as my Russian, and should you notice any grammar, spelling, speech or other mistakes, please, inform me. You can also rewrite the sentences which are untypical for English (American) speech. Thanks in advance!02span02br
01span00I also need English-speaking friends, who would help me to make my English better. My e-mail is02span00 01span00(removed by moderator; please leave it in your profile)02span02br
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01span00At the last day of 1994 the snow was falling on Ichkerian land. It was white like feathers of swans flying in one flock with angels. Resinous aroma was mixed with cool matutinal wind.02span02br
01span00"If I’m killed in Grozny02span01span00, when we come there, the most ***’ thin’ would I shall never become a father. I always hated kids, because of their usual cries and hollers, and, mother fucker, I didn’t want to spown before my serve, but now ––", Zhenka Charin said to Matvey (it was nickname for friends of Igor Matveew02span05000[1]01span00), who was such either as he a soldier of eighteen years old.02span02br
01span00"Boy, you are going to die too early", answered Matvey and unsuccessful tried to smile. "Tolik says that Chechens defeated and the remainder of their army runs out from the city now".02span02br
01span00"It's a ***! It's a real ***. Tolik is only the platoon commander, but not general. He can't know all ***’ truth"02span02br
01span00"What’s a difference? We are lucky guys; we'll come to Grozny without any shot".02span02br
01span00"You are kiddin’, brotha!” said Zhenka. "You and I were watchin’ corpses in that lorries. We can't believe that our fumtu troops will come to Grozny without a shot”.02span02br
01span00We had to believe, because we'll have to come to this devil’s city, thought Matvey, but said nothing.02span02br
01span00He was beginning to detest Zhenka, who had been always irritated and evaluate everything as *** or *** things. But Zhenka, this 01i00gangling gangster02i00 as Matvey called him because of his bandit-looking face, was right. In the morning, when their regiment arrived to the base, Matvey was busy of driving own evil thoughts out. First minutes in Chechnya reminded him the cinematography pretence of the war.02span02br
01span00The base of federal troops consisted of airsheds and huge premiseses, where not so long ago there were peace craft shops. But now a lot of army lorries were here. When Matvey picked in one of them, he saw motionless men in camouflage. Suddenly he understood that these were dead bodies.02span02br
01span00The lieutenant, who stood not far away, offered to Matvey, "You can look at our sharpshooter in the next lorry. Yesterday he was in Grozny with carry of two soldiers. He lagged behind them. The Chechens took him in captivity. Afterwards we found his broken corpse".02span02br
01span00This lieutenant, he looks like a 01i00bull with bullets in his skin02i00, took a cigarette from his pocket. The cigarette-lighter trembled in his hands. He continued the conversation quietly and somehow nervously, "Sergey, that sharpshooter, had seen all business of our curs with men from Chechen fighting group. He knew too much, and that’s why bastards of his carry leaved him. I know too much too and I'm afraid I shall be next dead body".02span02br
01span00The corpse of the sharpshooter seemed to be made from plasticine. His camouflage was cut into pieces and blood-flooded. His head laid apart his torso.02span02br
01span00Seeing this, Matvey sicked right on dead body. The Lieutenant shouted at him, "Oh, mongrel! your mother!"02span02br
01span00The war became real for Matvey, but he repeated three times for himself: "This is only an accident. The war can't begin in Russia. There is nothing to be afraid of". He trembled and did not notice it.02span02br
01span00At that moment Zhenka Charin came to them. "Wassamatter? What are the shouts?" he asked and looked at the lorry. Seeing the sharpshooter, he couldn’t sick.02span02br
01span00"Has seen and that was enough ––", said the lieutenant.02span02br
01span00", why did you think, that I gave the order for someone looking?!” the low-statured major with mustaches unexpectedly appeared around lorries. He was fat, and, probably, from this seemed jumping making each step. For contrast major's voice sounded certain and aloud. The Lieutenant immediately stood straight and silly to watch major.02span02br
01span00"Who are you, puppies?” the major shouted at Matvey and Zhenka not caring about their answers ordered. "Don’t tell to anybody about corpses, that you saw! You mustn't create a panic. I'll *** you if somebody knows something!"02span02br
01span00Major smells vodka and oranges, his cheeks were red. 01i00Moron with maroon face02i00, Matvey appreciated him. The lorries left soon. To become disconnected from the war’s air, Matvey began to fasten fir-branch to IFV02span05100[2]01span00.02span02br
01span00"It will be better if you are hitch a pair of New-Year balls on it!” smiled the tall, light-brown-haired and blue-eyed soldier, whose nickname was Kissel (for the reason his surname was Kisselew). He was the best friend of Matvey.02span02br
01span00"Hardly we'll find them here", answered Matvey and umpteenth thought that it is necessary to tell the Kissel about the dead bodies in the lorries. But when Matvey looked at his lucky face, he umpteenth didn't dare.02span02br
01span00In any case it will be easier for him, if he wouldn't hear about corpses and not become to be afraid beforehand, Matvey stony looked at empty snowbound field and thought about varicolored festoons, laughing girls and light-heartedly days. All that was exactly year back and now recalled by his memory like unreal appearance in the dreams of a fairy tale.02span02br
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01span00One year back Matvey studied in the eleventh02span05200[3]01span00 form. He and Kissel visited their class-mate Natasha one day before New Year. Now under wide and black Ichkerian sky Matvey immediately felt a joy and a biting sadness, when he remembered her.02span02br
01span00When she opened the door, she smelt nice of the wild strawberry. She was after shower. Matvey could see under her shot white bathrobe the contours of her breasts, which reminded large apples, and her long graceful legs with shone dripped water. Natasha asked them to wait her in the common-room until she changed clothes in the bedroom.02span02br
01span00“I’ll be happy like in paradise, if I get her in my bed”, whisper in friend’s ear Kissel in a care-free manner.02span02br
01span00“That really is too big New-Year present for such small boy as you are”, joked to him Matvey.02span02br
01span00“Be easy. I’ll hint her that I like her, and she will be mine”.02span02br
01span00“Have you already spoke to psychiatrist about your megalomania?” murmured Matvey.02span02br
01span00He understood clearly that Kissel don’t want to have a love-affair with Natasha indeed, in spite of this he was beginning to cross with Kissel.02span02br
01span00What do I care? thought Matvey. Natasha isn’t my girlfriend. And no accidents would happen if she falls in love with Kissel. I don’t love her, do I? She is pretty, and I like to speak with her about many different things, but that’s all.02span02br
01span00He heard the hum of the hair-dryer from her room. A few instants later Kissel cried, “Natasha, you are a real devil, aren’t you? I’ve never saw before so charming girl!”02span02br
01span00Now she was in the white blouse and blue jeans with the guitar in her right hand. Matvey looked at her sun-colored hair and at her eyes, which was blue and deep, as a sea. She reminded him Mermaid from the fairy tale of Andersen, and Matvey imagined that she wears now the sea-spume and varicolored magic seaweeds instead of modern clothes. Yes, she really was 01i00merry mermaid02i00, who loved the terrestrial world strange though it may seem and tries to save drowning men during each storm.02span02br
01span00In real life Natasha devoted large part of her free-time for teaching to ride on horseback disabled children at the municipal hippodrome. These children usually loved her lessons.02span02br
01span00She is a very good friend; she is just a friend, thought Matvey.02span02br
01span00At that evening he drank some beer with Natasha and Kissel, they played the guitar and spoke about their school, their friends, their life and other simple and pleasant things…02span02br
01span00Next day at Kissel’s house in the middle of New-Year’s party Matvey suddenly understood, that Natasha wouldn’t come to them. He left his friends without saying any word and ran out for her.02span02br
01span00Natasha was at home. Her father didn’t want her to leave, “For single time you agreed to celebrate the New Year with parents, but now young person leads you away at five minutes to twelve. You two must stay with us if only for a half an hour to see the New Year in”.02span02br
01span00“No, dad, it’s time! We had to go”, Natasha has kissed the father in a cheek and smiled for her mother.02span02br
01span00Coming out of entrance, Natasha confessed to Matvey, “I hadn’t wanted to celebrate with you. I know, you thought that you are just a friend for me. Oh ***! Why did you never understand that I am over head and ears in love with you?” she lit a cigarette.02span02br
01span00Suddenly Matvey understood that he fall in love with her too; he embraced her and kissed her nervous trembling lips. At that instant they heard striking of chimes from TV at the small night shop not far from them, which worked on holiday. It meant that it was midnight already and the New Year had become.02span02br
01span00“We have to celebrate the New Year here in the street”, said Matvey with smile. He took Natasha’s hand, and they went to a small shop to buy some beer and drink for Happy New Year.02span02br
01span00The moon, which recently goggled in window in quest of sky, now looked from height on lad and girl. They went out of the shop, and she lit a cigarette, he opened a bottle of beer; they went hand in hand and drank and smoke one cigarette for two persons. The moon foolishly thought that it was a romantic ritual. But it wasn’t, and Matvey and Natasha just smoked one cigarette for two persons. They kissed for a long time. It was nothing bad that weather-beaten with frost wet lips would crack afterwards.02span02br
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01span00“Oh, Matvey, this is no *** good!” the cried voice of Zhenka Charin brought back the Ichkerian winter. “Our commanders not give a *** about us; they run away like bitches running from firing whorehouse, I see. The lieutenant, who stood near this *** lorries with corpses, disappeared some hours or maybe even some minutes ago. All our lads are thinking that Chechens kidnap him, but in my opinion, he simply ran away, he is a smart ass”.02span02br
01span00“Probably, he ran away”, agreed Matvey.02span02br
01span00But his memory brought back to him the last words of the lost lieutenant, "Sergey, that sharpshooter, had seen all business of our curs with men from Chechen fighting group… I know too much too and I'm afraid I shall be next dead body".02span02br
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05300[1]01span00 01i00Matvey02i00 is an old Russian name. And 01i00Matveew02i00 is a widespread Russian surname, that origin by this name.02span02br
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05400[2]01span00 It’s abbreviation of 01i00infantry fighting vehicle02i00.02span02br
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05500[3]01span00 It’s equal twelfth form in American schools.02span0510name_ftnref1511name_ftnref2512name_ftnref3513name_ftn1514name_ftn2515name_ftn3