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Jing-yi Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

The fall

Can anyone improve the short sentences below?

He underwent electroconvulsive therapy as many as 15 times and his brain condition continue deteriorating. He could not accept his tumble, but neither strong nor creative to continue writing. Hermingway aimed his favourite gun to his neck and fire a gunshot. Like father like son, they commited sucide.
  

Top answer

He underwent electroconvulsive therapy as many as 15 times and his brain condition continue d to deteriorate deteriorating . He could not accept his tumble fall , but and was neither strong enough nor creative enough to continue writing. Hermingway aimed put his favourite gun to his neck and fire d .

  • He underwent electroconvulsive therapy as many as 15 times and his brain condition continue d to deteriorate deteriorating .
  • He could not accept his tumble fall , but and was neither strong enough nor creative enough to continue writing.
  • Hermingway aimed put his favourite gun to his neck and fire d .
  • a gunshot.
  • Like his father , like son, they he commited sucide.
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6 Answers
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He underwent electroconvulsive therapy as many as 15 times and his brain condition continued to deteriorate deteriorating. He could not accept his tumble fall , but and was neither strong enough
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Thank you very much JohnParis. I understand my facts most probably is wrong. I got few questions here.

Why

1) He could not accept his tumble

2) Hermingway aimed his favourite gun

3) Like father like son, they commited sucide.

are not suitable?
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You're welcome.

I just noticed that the EnglishForward.com correction system did not remove the words I struck out in my initial response to you. My answer should have read:

He underwent electroconvulsive therapy as many as 15 times and his brain condition continued to deteriorate. He could not
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My idol JohnParis,

Really appreciate on your help! Your analysis is absolutely professional.

By the way, I have a question here. Any fast way to improve English in 5 years time? I hope to become a novelist at that time, but I seems do not have enough vocabulary in my head.

Thanks

Jing-yi

[You may correct this message if you find any misuse English]
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Live in an English speaking country and study English literature.

You will find that after even just one year your English will have improved immensely. At the end of five years you'll most likely be better than many native speakers!
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Thank you John Paris.

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